Tag Archives: ass

When a Dog Licks Its Ass and then Kisses Your Face

My girlfriend has a cute little dog with a big nasty habit. He likes to lick his butthole and then he tries to lick your face. I learned fairly quickly to rebuff his advances. I’ve often wondered why dogs are so eager to go down on themselves. They will lick and slobber all over their genitalia and poop chutes like the world is ending. Then they try desperately to make out with you. They know that it’s disgusting. They are just trying to prove to you that they are really in charge. They are in control. They have the power. That’s why they lick your face with a contaminated tongue. Nobody likes it when a dog licks its ass and then kisses your face. At least I hope that’s the case. I’m sure some people are into that sort of thing. If you fall into that category, please stay away from me and any dogs that I am affiliated with. And stay five hundred yards away from any pet store.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Mooning People

Mooning people isn’t very mature, but it’s funnier than hell. Mooning is when you show your bare ass to an unsuspecting victim. I used to moon people a lot when I was younger. I don’t do it anymore. Once you’re over the age of eighteen it can be considered indecent exposure and that doesn’t look so great on the resume. There are a lot of reasons to moon someone. You can moon someone as a joke, you can moon them for revenge, you can moon them just because you feel like it. If you decide to moon somebody, make sure that your victim doesn’t have a stick in their hand. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Replacing the Toilet Paper

I went to take my daily shit and noticed that somebody used up all the toilet paper except for one sheet. A single sheet of TP is useless. It’s not even enough to wipe a fart away. If you use it all up, replace it. Because I’ll use your towel next time. Replacing the toilet paper takes 10 seconds. The hardest part is making sure it hangs the right way. The sad thing is that some people still fail at such a simple task. The sadder thing is that they don’t know that they failed.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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