Tag Archives: replace

Replacement Dogs

Replacement dogs are dogs that you get to fill a void. Your parents get replacement dogs when all the kids have moved out and/or when the family pets have passed away. I’ve been out of my parent’s house for a few years now, and it seems like I’m greeted by a new dog every time I come home for Christmas. Replacement dogs are weird. They are family dogs that don’t know that you’re a part of the family. They can sense enough to know that you’re not an intruder, but they have no idea why you’re sitting on their spot on the couch. They are a reminder that life has a way of slogging on. Fido isn’t going to be around forever, but there’s always a Rex waiting in the wings. And when Rex bites the dust, Spot is ready for his chance to shine. Replacement dogs are the real circle of life.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Replacing the Toilet Paper

I went to take my daily shit and noticed that somebody used up all the toilet paper except for one sheet. A single sheet of TP is useless. It’s not even enough to wipe a fart away. If you use it all up, replace it. Because I’ll use your towel next time. Replacing the toilet paper takes 10 seconds. The hardest part is making sure it hangs the right way. The sad thing is that some people still fail at such a simple task. The sadder thing is that they don’t know that they failed.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants