Tag Archives: wipe

Wet Naps

You’re at your favorite BBQ joint eating ribs, and you’re getting barbeque sauce all over the place because ribs are messy and you’re a slob. It’s always a good idea to grab a few extra napkins to keep the mess contained, but at the end of your meal you’re going to need a wet nap. A wet nap can also be called a wet wipe or a moist towelette. It’s an individually wrapped piece of moistened cloth or paper used for wiping barbecue sauce and fried chicken grease off your hands when you’re done eating. You use them after the meal, never before. If your hands are dirty before the meal, then wash fucking wash them in the fucking sink with fucking soap and fucking hot water. Wet naps are like a dinner mint: you only get them when you go out to eat, you only get them at the end of the meal, and your server is only going to give you one. It’s the perfect way to wrap up a messy meal.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Replacing the Toilet Paper

I went to take my daily shit and noticed that somebody used up all the toilet paper except for one sheet. A single sheet of TP is useless. It’s not even enough to wipe a fart away. If you use it all up, replace it. Because I’ll use your towel next time. Replacing the toilet paper takes 10 seconds. The hardest part is making sure it hangs the right way. The sad thing is that some people still fail at such a simple task. The sadder thing is that they don’t know that they failed.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants