Tag Archives: tired

February 11, 2016 · 11:45 pm

Bedtime

Bedtime is that magical time when you go to bed. It’s a designated time set by your parents when you are growing up, but you start to control your own bedtime as you get older. You brush your teeth, you change into your pajamas or strip down to your undies, and jump into bed. When you’re a kid your bedtime gets gradually gets later and later. You’ll have to go to bed at 8:00 pm, then 8:30, then 9:00, and so on. Soon you’re in high school and you can stay out until midnight on Saturday night if you’re lucky. Then you get to college and you can stay up as late as you want (and sometimes you do) but you mostly end up crashing by 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning so you can make it to class. Your bedtime is any time that you feel tired when you are in your twenties. You are immortal for a few years, immune to hangovers and sleep deprivation. And then something happens (LIFE) and you have to start enforcing an earlier bedtime on yourself so that you can function adequately in the morning. As you get older, your bedtime gets later. Then you get too old, and your bedtime gets earlier. It’s not a bad thing. It’s simply inevitable. You might as well embrace it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 20, 2013 · 10:38 am

Dropping Your Phone on Your Face

You’re lying in bed after a long night out and your phone buzzes. You fumble around for your phone, too tired to even sit up. You finally find your phone and hold it over your face, trying to figure out who is calling you so early and why. But you’re too groggy to function and you end up dropping your phone on your face. What a great way to start the day. At least you’re awake now. Hopefully your thick skull didn’t crack the screen. I don’t think your protection plan covers face dropping.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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April 20, 2013 · 9:25 am

Early Morning Bathroom Battle

I live with a few roommates and we only have one bathroom. That means I get to experience the early morning bathroom battle a few times a week. That’s when you get up around the same time as someone else and you fight each other for the bathroom. Most people can’t function until they get through their morning routine, so there’s a lot more tension and less etiquette involved when dealing with sleep-deprived creatures fighting for the same space. You always feel like you are more deserving of the bathroom, that you’re more important. You’ll try to justify that your hygienic needs are more vital than his. It’s essential that you take a shower and you take one now. Your roomie can always brush his teeth in the kitchen or resort to pissing in a bottle… he just wants the bathroom, he doesn’t need it. There’s no better way to start the day than by arguing over who gets to use the shitter first. The early morning bathroom battle can turn violent, but it’s mostly a lot of name-calling and pounding on the door and telling them to hurry the fuck up.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 28, 2012 · 9:39 am

Lizard Blinking

Have you ever been so tired or exhausted that you can’t even blink in unison? You’ve just woken up or you’re about to pass out, and you don’t even realize that you’re blinking in slow motion and also closing one eye slightly before the other.  That’s lizard blinking. Because you look like a reptile when you do it. It means that you’re really fucking tired. So get some sleep and stop creeping people out.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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July 16, 2012 · 10:12 am

Your Second Wind

Humans are fragile creatures. That’s why our minds get tired and our body needs sleep. So if you worked all day and have to party that night, you’re going to be a walking zombie at some point. Your head will droop and your eyes will feel heavy, and you want nothing more than to crash in your bed or anywhere you can.

Fight the urge to sleep and grab a drink and power through that shit. If you feel tired long enough, you will start to not feel tired. This magical feeling is known as your second wind. Sometimes you can extend the term to cover drinking. If you are on the verge of puking but manage to keep it down, you will feel better soon and get your second wind. You might still be drunk, but at least your mouth doesn’t taste like vomit and you can still hit on girls.

The coolest things happen when you are sleeping, so you have to avoid it as much as possible. Naps are for cats. Waiting for your second wind is the way to go.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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