Tag Archives: lizard

Legless Lizards

Legless lizards are lizards with no legs. They look exactly like snakes. But scientists insist that they are legless lizards. A legless lizard is different from a snake because they either have eyelids, external ear holes, or a lack of broad belly scales. But I think that the scientists are just being stubborn. If it looks like a snake, it’s a snake. Let’s not complicate things with mere technicalities.

But if legless lizards do exist, we should do something to help them. I mean they have no legs. They can’t move very far or very fast. Maybe we should all invest in prosthetic lizard legs or lizard wheel chairs. If everybody picked up just one legless lizard each day, and carried them just a few feet, we could make the world a better place. For the legless lizards and for all of us.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Lizard Blinking

Have you ever been so tired or exhausted that you can’t even blink in unison? You’ve just woken up or you’re about to pass out, and you don’t even realize that you’re blinking in slow motion and also closing one eye slightly before the other.  That’s lizard blinking. Because you look like a reptile when you do it. It means that you’re really fucking tired. So get some sleep and stop creeping people out.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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