Tag Archives: tunnel

There’s a Light at the End of the Rainbow 

 I overheard a guy complaining about his life to his friend. His girlfriend dumped him, he was overlooked for a promotion at work, and his dog likes his roommate more than him. His friend gave him some advice and told him that “There’s a light at the end of the rainbow.” I couldn’t help but scoff at them. That’s not an expression. That’s muddling up two different expressions. There’s either a light at the end of the tunnel and there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I’ve seen the end of the rainbow and there was definitely no light, only a pot of gold and a surly leprechaun guarding it. I asked the leprechaun where the light was. He said it was obviously at the end of the tunnel. That’s where they keep it. There’s no light at the end of the rainbow. Don’t believe the hype. And don’t speak in clichés if you don’t know how to say them, especially if I’m around to make fun of you. 

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Trapped on the Train with a Crazy Guy

I was taking the train to work this morning and there was a little bit of traffic in the underground. I got delayed in the tunnel for about ten minutes. That happens a few times a month and it’s not so bad as long as you’re not overly claustrophobic or scared of earthquakes. This morning was different because I was trapped on the train with a crazy guy. He was a white guy, probably in his late twenties, wearing a gray hoodie and he was banging on the doors and screaming for the train to move at the top of his voice. He wasn’t yelling for the driver to move the train. He was yelling at the actual train. The driver was in the first train car, and we were in the second. I don’t think the driver knew what was going on. The crazy guy would take occasional breaks from screaming to run up and down the length of the train. There were two other guys besides me in our car and we were all a few seats away from each other. We all made eye contact with each other, silently acknowledging that there was a crazy guy running amok and that we had each other’s backs in case the crazy guy got even crazier. Ten minutes stuck in a tunnel seems longer than ten minutes. It’s even longer with a crazy guy. I don’t recommend it. I waited it out and the train eventually moved, the doors opened, I went to work, and the crazy guy stormed off to presumably find another inanimate object to yell at. Just another day in the city.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Holding Your Breath When You Drive Through a Tunnel

Some people are in the habit of holding their breath when they drive through a tunnel. I know this because I am one of them. I’ve done it ever since I was a kid. It’s a custom that’s been passed down for generations. When I asked why, I was told it was an emergency air supply if the tunnel suddenly collapsed. It seemed reasonable at the time so I never questioned it and I’ve been doing it ever since. It’s better to hold your breath when you’re the passenger. You can get lightheaded and that’s not so bueno if you’re driving. Once you’ve made it through the tunnel successfully, you get to make a wish. That’s your reward for surviving the trip. Use it wisely.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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