Tag Archives: haircut

Growing My Hair Out

One of the many new hobbies I’ve picked up during shelter in place is growing my hair out. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. It’s easy when all the barbershops and salons are closed and I don’t trust my girlfriend with sharp objects. My last haircut was probably in late November or early December because I didn’t want to look shaggy in holiday photos. I should have gotten a haircut in March before I went on vacation but I ran out of time. I came back on March 10th, had a couple days of work, and then everything shut down.

So here I am, stuck inside with ever increasing follicles. My bangs cover my eyes, some strands reach down to my nostrils. I spent over fifteen years of my life with a shaved head, now I have the luscious locks of a 90’s heartthrob. I’m not used to it. I’ve started wearing hats when I leave the house, something I never did before unless I was going to a baseball game. When I’m at home I’ll alternate between wearing a beanie, a headband, or simply running my fingers through my hair. It’s so soft. It’s like a puppy that lives on my head.

I know I can just shave my head and be done with it. But it’s become a symbol. My untamed hair represents how life has forever changed. It’s the new normal. I will only cut my hair when this is over.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Taking Your Shirt Off at the Barber Shop

I had to get a much needed haircut yesterday. I went to the local barber shop and there were a few people waiting in line before me. One of them was a local guy that I’ve seen around the neighborhood, and we started making small talk. He seemed like a pretty normal dude. Then it was his turn for his haircut. He got up, approached the chair, took off his shirt, and sat down. The barber didn’t say anything, she didn’t even blink. It was clear that he was a regular and this was his routine.

It was bizarre. I’ve never seen anyone strip down at the barber before. I get that trimmed hair gets itchy when it falls into your shirt, but you’re supposed to bear with it until you can take a shower. Showing off your nipples and back hair seems a little excessive. I’ve seen a lot of weird things in the city. Taking your shirt off at the barber shop is on the list now.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Pixie Cut

A pixie cut is a popular hairstyle for women, but it shouldn’t be. It’s a short haircut along the sides and back of the head, and slightly longer on the top. Pixie cuts are super trendy right now for some stupid reason and I don’t know why. Girls are supposed to have long hair. Very few girls can pull off a pixie cut and still look good. Emma Watson had one. Beyoncé had one. Jennifer Lawrence just got one. They are all insanely gorgeous women with a terrible haircut in common. None of them can make it work. You shouldn’t even attempt it unless your name is Tinker Bell. You’ll end up looking like Peter Pan. The problem with a pixie cut is that it looks like a little boy’s haircut. And it’s hard for women to look sexy if they look like a little boy. If you want to look like a school boy, go ahead and get a pixie cut. But don’t stop there. The look isn’t complete until you also get a set of baggy overalls and a pair of Doc Martens. You can accessorize further with a slingshot in your back pocket. There, now you’re dressed to impress.

Critically Rated at 2/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Nobody Notices That You Got a Haircut

Your hair is getting long and shaggy, and it’s time for a trim. You go to the barbershop, you plop down some cash, and you leave a while later with a stylish new do. But nobody notices it. Nobody cares about it. Nobody compliments you on it. The world is indifferent. You should have saved your money and let your hair continue to grow. Don’t take it personally when nobody notices that you got a haircut. People tend not to notice minor changes in other people’s appearances. Everyone has got their own shit to deal with. Besides, you probably didn’t notice that Sarah is wearing a new shirt, and she’s crushed that you didn’t even say anything about it. You asshole.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

One Long Hair

I buzz my head because it’s easy to maintain and it’s cheap as hell. I bought some electric clippers for $50 a few years ago and shave my head every month or two. I’ve probably saved a few thousand dollars by avoiding the barbershop over the years. I’ve gotten pretty quick and efficient with it, I can shave my head in a couple of minutes. But no matter what, there’s always a single strand of hair that manages to avoid the clippers somehow. It’s unavoidable. There will always be one long hair that survives the cut. It’s usually around the ears or the back of my neck but that fucker can pop up anywhere. And I always notice it after I’ve put the clippers away. At that point I just grab the tweezers and pluck that fucker out.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Being Itchy After a Haircut

You just got a haircut and you’re looking good but feeling itchy. Somehow some rouge hairs got up under your shirt and onto your shoulders and that shit is starting to chafe. As you’re slowly being stabbed by your own sheared follicles, you’ll wonder how effective your conditioner is because it’s obviously not making your hair soft and silky. That shit hurts. Being itchy after a haircut is one of the drawbacks of personal grooming, but society requires us to look presentable.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants