Tag Archives: haircut

Pixie Cut

A pixie cut is a popular hairstyle for women, but it shouldn’t be. It’s a short haircut along the sides and back of the head, and slightly longer on the top. Pixie cuts are super trendy right now for some stupid reason and I don’t know why. Girls are supposed to have long hair. Very few girls can pull off a pixie cut and still look good. Emma Watson had one. Beyoncé had one. Jennifer Lawrence just got one. They are all insanely gorgeous women with a terrible haircut in common. None of them can make it work. You shouldn’t even attempt it unless your name is Tinker Bell. You’ll end up looking like Peter Pan. The problem with a pixie cut is that it looks like a little boy’s haircut. And it’s hard for women to look sexy if they look like a little boy. If you want to look like a school boy, go ahead and get a pixie cut. But don’t stop there. The look isn’t complete until you also get a set of baggy overalls and a pair of Doc Martens. You can accessorize further with a slingshot in your back pocket. There, now you’re dressed to impress.

Critically Rated at 2/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Nobody Notices That You Got a Haircut

Your hair is getting long and shaggy, and it’s time for a trim. You go to the barbershop, you plop down some cash, and you leave a while later with a stylish new do. But nobody notices it. Nobody cares about it. Nobody compliments you on it. The world is indifferent. You should have saved your money and let your hair continue to grow. Don’t take it personally when nobody notices that you got a haircut. People tend not to notice minor changes in other people’s appearances. Everyone has got their own shit to deal with. Besides, you probably didn’t notice that Sarah is wearing a new shirt, and she’s crushed that you didn’t even say anything about it. You asshole.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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One Long Hair

I buzz my head because it’s easy to maintain and it’s cheap as hell. I bought some electric clippers for $50 a few years ago and shave my head every month or two. I’ve probably saved a few thousand dollars by avoiding the barbershop over the years. I’ve gotten pretty quick and efficient with it, I can shave my head in a couple of minutes. But no matter what, there’s always a single strand of hair that manages to avoid the clippers somehow. It’s unavoidable. There will always be one long hair that survives the cut. It’s usually around the ears or the back of my neck but that fucker can pop up anywhere. And I always notice it after I’ve put the clippers away. At that point I just grab the tweezers and pluck that fucker out.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Being Itchy After a Haircut

You just got a haircut and you’re looking good but feeling itchy. Somehow some rouge hairs got up under your shirt and onto your shoulders and that shit is starting to chafe. As you’re slowly being stabbed by your own sheared follicles, you’ll wonder how effective your conditioner is because it’s obviously not making your hair soft and silky. That shit hurts. Being itchy after a haircut is one of the drawbacks of personal grooming, but society requires us to look presentable.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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