I had to filter a beer the other night. By filtering a beer, I mean that the bottleneck broke when I was trying to open it and pieces of glass fell inside the bottle. I’ve never had that happen before. I drink beer all the time. I’m pretty good at opening bottles. At least I thought I was. Anyway, I tried to open a beer, failed, and small shards of glass got into the beer. It was a Hop Stoopid from Lagunitas, so I didn’t want to waste it. This was a real beer, not a fucking Budweiser. I made a makeshift filter out of paper towels. I would have used a coffee filter, but I don’t have any in the house right now. I placed a paper towel over a big beer mug and slowly poured the beer into the paper towel. It formed a shallow puddle that slowly dripped and drained its way through the paper towel into the mug. I replaced the paper towel every few minutes. Yes, this took more than a few minutes. It probably took about ten to fifteen minutes and four paper towels to filter the 22 ounces of liquid gold. It took a while but it worked and I didn’t have to worry about swallowing glass and shredding my stomach lining. I don’t mind wasting time, but I’ll never waste beer.
Critically Rated at 9/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young