Tag Archives: deodorant

Creature Comfort Vending Machine

I went to work with a slight cold the other day. I had a tickle in my throat and was coughing every now and then. I asked around for a cough drop but nobody had any. That gave me an idea for a creature comfort vending machine. Instead of being stocked with drinks and snacks, it would be stocked with items like cough drops, aspirin, vitamins, Band-Aids, little tubes of toothpaste, travel-sized sticks of deodorant, pocket tissues… basically a vending machine like a pharmacy without all the pills. It would be quick and convenient and you wouldn’t have to explain your purchases to a judgmental cashier. I think there would be a lot of demand for such a machine. In fact, I know it’s a good idea because they already invented it. I only found out when I searched for an image to use. I’m too lazy to write a new blog post, so let’s just pretend that they stole my idea. The creature comfort vending machine: coming soon to a break room near you.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Keeping Extra Deodorant in Your Bag

I work six days a week in a busy restaurant, usually working six to eight hour shifts with a couple of doubles thrown in. After work I’ll grab food, drinks, run random errands, or hang out with friends. My house is on the other side of town and I commute via public transportation. When I leave the house in the morning, it’s typically about twelve hours before I get home. I learned a long time ago that keeping a spare stick of deodorant in my backpack is essential, not just for my personal hygiene but also for my personal life. Keeping extra deodorant in your bag is a great idea. Sometimes you get a little sweaty and that makes you a little stinky. Being stinky makes people avoid you. Smelling good will bring those people back. Deodorant makes you smell good. Therefore, you should always have it handy. Storing it in your bag seems like a no-brainer.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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That Last Bit of Deodorant

I wear deodorant because it smells good and sweat does not. I prefer Old Spice. I get the sticks and stay away from the gels. The gel is too mushy and squishy and takes a little longer to set in. Deodorant sticks go on smoother and seem to last longer. The only problem is when you get down to that last bit of deodorant, when the plastic starts to poke through and scrape your armpits when you apply it. You know that it’s time to go to the store and get more deodorant, but you’re too lazy so you fight through the pain and use it for as long as there are traces of the stick still remaining. Put off today what you can do tomorrow. Nobody is judging you.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Spice Bearglove

Bearglove is the newest scent from Old Spice and it is a terrible, terrible idea. Let’s start with the basics. I’m a straight male living in San Francisco. I can’t buy a deodorant called Bearglove without people questioning my sexual orientation. If you don’t know what a bear is, try searching for San Francisco bears and see what comes up. It won’t be pictures of Pablo Sandoval. It’s kind of obvious that Old Spice is trying to be like Axe and recapture the youth market, but they don’t know how to do that. You can tell by their marketing that they are clueless. Axe has an ad campaign centered on young males using their products and having women throwing themselves at them. Axe claims that sluts will sleep with you if you use their product. Meanwhile Old Spice chose to call a scent Bearglove, which is awful similar to Bear Love, and it doesn’t help that the label art depicts two bears almost in a 69 position. That’s not appealing to the right demographic they are trying to get. It’s like targeting straight males with a line of anal condoms called SodoMe. It’s not going to happen. Go back to the drawing boards.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Spice Hawkridge Deodorant

Hawkridge is one of the newest scents from Old Spice. It comes in body wash, body spray, and in deodorant form. I got a stick of the anti-perspirant & deodorant, and my arm pits are much nicer to be around now. It smells earthy, musky, and slightly fruity, with hints of cinnamon and vanilla. It reminds me of a fruit bowl that’s been sitting out for a few days… it smells sweet and old at the same time. It’s not as crisp or as sharp as Pure Sport, but it’s a nice alternative and it’s better than switching brands. It also leaves less white residue than most other anti-perspirants. Try it. Or don’t try it. I really don’t care what you do, as long as you put on something to mask your stench.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Spice Wolfthorn Deodorant

Wolfthorn is a new scent from Old Spice. Hopefully you’ve seen the commercials for it, because they are fucking hilarious. The tagline for it says that it’s For Nocturnal Creatures, so I guess it’s good for clubbing or bar hopping. But it has a sunshiny feel to it. It has a really crisp and fruity smell, it reminds me of tropical-flavored bubble gum or candy. But it doesn’t taste as good. I got the Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant version, and I’ve noticed that it leaves less residue than other the other Old Spice anti-perspirants. The less mess, the better. This is a good deodorant. It makes you sweat less, it makes you smell better, and it lasts all day. What more do you want from deodorant? And it has a cool name. When someone asks what you are wearing, you can whisper Wolfthorn… how classy is that?

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Tinactin Antifungal Deodorant Powder Spray

It seems that most people who want to practice good hygiene only use deodorant for their armpits, despite the fact that we sweat all over. Most people neglect their sweaty feet. Maybe they forget about them because they are crammed into shoes and socks all day, so you don’t catch an accidental whiff of your body odor while performing some random activity. I’m a server/bartender so I’m on my feet all damn day, running around in circles for the duration of my shift. I started getting athlete’s foot so I got some Tinactin deodorant spray. It kills odors and helps cure and prevent athlete’s foot. Now I don’t have to be ashamed to take off my shoes in the break room. Nobody wants to smell bad, and Tinactin will make your feet less stinky. Everybody wins. Now if only there was some way to keep my balls from sweating…

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forgetting To Put On Deodorant

You wake up late and rush around grabbing your stuff and getting ready before heading out for work. An hour or two into your shift you get a whiff of something unpleasant. You sniff around for the source, perplexed as to how the stink keeps following you. Then you realize that it’s you. You can’t remember putting on deodorant. And if you’re not sure if you put on deodorant, you probably didn’t. And if you can smell your own B.O., it’s guaranteed that everyone else in the vicinity can smell you too. You’ll be ok, just don’t hit on anyone.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Spice Denali Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant

Guys sweat and sweat smells bad and guys need to smell good to get girls. And so they invented deodorant to keeps you from smelling bad. It wasn’t enough, and so they upped the ante and made anti-perspirant so you don’t sweat either. Old Spice is the best deodorant for guys. It’s like a tradition that passes from father to son. Everyone’s used Old Spice at some point. The Denali scent “smells like wilderness, open air & freedom”.  It’s a very crisp, clean scent, and the ladies like to smell my armpits when I wear it. Look out for white powder residue, that shit gets everywhere.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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