Tag Archives: vitamins

Creature Comfort Vending Machine

I went to work with a slight cold the other day. I had a tickle in my throat and was coughing every now and then. I asked around for a cough drop but nobody had any. That gave me an idea for a creature comfort vending machine. Instead of being stocked with drinks and snacks, it would be stocked with items like cough drops, aspirin, vitamins, Band-Aids, little tubes of toothpaste, travel-sized sticks of deodorant, pocket tissues… basically a vending machine like a pharmacy without all the pills. It would be quick and convenient and you wouldn’t have to explain your purchases to a judgmental cashier. I think there would be a lot of demand for such a machine. In fact, I know it’s a good idea because they already invented it. I only found out when I searched for an image to use. I’m too lazy to write a new blog post, so let’s just pretend that they stole my idea. The creature comfort vending machine: coming soon to a break room near you.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Centrum

I turned thirty a few months ago. Turning thirty does a lot of things to one’s psyche. You realize that you’re not a kid anymore. You realize that you’re starting to get old. That’s why I decided to start taking vitamins. I figured as long as I’m going to smoke, drink, and party, I might as well take vitamins. Delay the inevitable and all that jazz. So I bought a giant bottle of Centrum Adults Multivitamin. I’ve popped a pill everyday since the end of April and I haven’t gotten sick since. I don’t know if that means they are working or if I was just lucky, but I want to assume that it’s the Centrum. It’s got all the vitamins and minerals that my body needs (at least according to the government). Taking vitamins can’t be detrimental to my health, so I think I will keep up the habit for a few more years at least. This might seem like a shameless plug for Centrum, but rest assured they didn’t pay me. I only needed something to write about and I saw my bottle of Centrum on the dresser. I’ll stop talking now.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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