Tag Archives: fail

Old Spice Bearglove

Bearglove is the newest scent from Old Spice and it is a terrible, terrible idea. Let’s start with the basics. I’m a straight male living in San Francisco. I can’t buy a deodorant called Bearglove without people questioning my sexual orientation. If you don’t know what a bear is, try searching for San Francisco bears and see what comes up. It won’t be pictures of Pablo Sandoval. It’s kind of obvious that Old Spice is trying to be like Axe and recapture the youth market, but they don’t know how to do that. You can tell by their marketing that they are clueless. Axe has an ad campaign centered on young males using their products and having women throwing themselves at them. Axe claims that sluts will sleep with you if you use their product. Meanwhile Old Spice chose to call a scent Bearglove, which is awful similar to Bear Love, and it doesn’t help that the label art depicts two bears almost in a 69 position. That’s not appealing to the right demographic they are trying to get. It’s like targeting straight males with a line of anal condoms called SodoMe. It’s not going to happen. Go back to the drawing boards.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Watching Someone Get Hurt

People are inherently mean. That’s why we enjoy watching someone get hurt. It’s funny to see people fail. That’s why YouTube is full of fail videos and Russian dash cam footage. It’s why America’s Funniest Home Videos is still on the air. I once saw my friend’s little brother bomb down a hill on his bike and crash directly into a parked car. He flew about fifteen feet through the air and landed on his back in some bushes. It was a horrifying accident, but we were too busy laughing to immediately run over and check on him. He was pretty busted up, he broke his arm and needed a couple of stiches and his mom was pretty pissed off, but we still laugh about it and give him shit to this day. Watching someone get hurt is better than getting hurt yourself. Maybe that’s why it’s so enjoyable. I don’t want to see anybody die or get paralyzed, but I’m totally down to witness a skateboarder take a rail to the nuts or watch a little kid fall off his scooter. That would be hilarious. You can call me an asshole all you want, but you know that you would laugh too if you saw me trip down a flight of stairs.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Fail Videos

Check out a video compilation of fails the next time you have a few minutes to kill or if you’re feeling depressed. Just go to YouTube and search for “Fails.” You’ll instantly be transported to a world of stupid teenagers, bad drivers, terrible stuntmen, and enough cringe-worthy failures and embarrassments. It’s like America’s Funniest Home Videos without a laugh track or censor. You get to laugh as random people get hurt and humiliated. It’s like bullying without the guilt thanks to the anonymity of the internet. It will make you feel better. You might have had an argument with a friend but at least you didn’t break your arm trying to jump out of a moving Jeep onto a trampoline. See, things aren’t so bad after all. Fail Videos are one of the best ways to kill time on the internet. They are why YouTube was invented.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forgetting Your Ticket

You hear about an awesome festival with a fantastic lineup on an ideal weekend and so you buy your tickets a few months in advance and request the time off of work. You mark the dates on the calendar and your anticipation builds as the days slowly pass until it is finally time to rock out. You’ve been planning everything out: you know which bands you’re going to see, you recruit friends to join you, you pack your bag with some snacks and stash a few joints and a flask in a hidden compartment, and you start to make your way to the concert. You’re feeling pleased and excited and slightly buzzed because you were pregaming. And then you realize that your ticket that you bought months ago is still tucked away safely in your drawer. Forgetting your ticket is worse than leaving your kid behind at Chuck E. Cheese. You feel like an amateur. You feel like you’ve failed. And you did.

Critically Rated at 4/17

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