Tag Archives: scent

Mr. Sketch Smelly Markers

Mr. Sketch is a brand of scented permanent pens. I grew up calling them smelly markers, which is an apt description because they are markers that smell. Be forewarned: they smell great but they taste terrible. I was brought up with the main eight colors/scents. The scent matches the color. Red is Cherry. Yellow is Lemon. Green is Mint. Blue is Blueberry. Purple is Grape. Black is Licorice. Brown is Cinnamon. I can’t remember what Orange is. Mr. Sketch Smelly Markers are a gateway marker. You start by sniffing these in elementary school and you’ll be sniffing Sharpies by middle school, high school at the latest. By college you’ll be huffing spray paint. It’s evolution in action. What’s next? Flavored edible finger paint? That will teach the kids to stay away from paint chips.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Old Spice Bearglove

Bearglove is the newest scent from Old Spice and it is a terrible, terrible idea. Let’s start with the basics. I’m a straight male living in San Francisco. I can’t buy a deodorant called Bearglove without people questioning my sexual orientation. If you don’t know what a bear is, try searching for San Francisco bears and see what comes up. It won’t be pictures of Pablo Sandoval. It’s kind of obvious that Old Spice is trying to be like Axe and recapture the youth market, but they don’t know how to do that. You can tell by their marketing that they are clueless. Axe has an ad campaign centered on young males using their products and having women throwing themselves at them. Axe claims that sluts will sleep with you if you use their product. Meanwhile Old Spice chose to call a scent Bearglove, which is awful similar to Bear Love, and it doesn’t help that the label art depicts two bears almost in a 69 position. That’s not appealing to the right demographic they are trying to get. It’s like targeting straight males with a line of anal condoms called SodoMe. It’s not going to happen. Go back to the drawing boards.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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