Tag Archives: dentist

Night Guard

Like millions of people, I sometimes grind my teeth at night. Apparently I’ve been doing it for years because my teeth were noticeably worn down. My dentist suggested that I get a night guard. It’s basically a mouthguard similar to what athletes wear, except they are form-fitted to your teeth and you pop it in just before bedtime. It keeps your teeth from making contact when you grind them. It takes a little bit of adjustment before I got used to it, but now I can’t sleep without it. I no longer have to worry about any nocturnal dental trauma. I used to be a little ashamed of wearing it around people, but most people are accepting of it and more than a few have inquired about getting one for themselves. A lot of people grind their teeth and don’t know that there’s a solution for it. Sleep disorders seem to be a taboo subject matter. They don’t have to be.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

bite-splints

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Opening Your Mouth Too Early At The Dentist

It’s time for your biannual dental checkup and you’re waiting in the reception room. The assistant calls your name and guides you into a small room with a chair. You climb into the chair, and then she puts a little bib on you and lowers the back of the chair. You settle into position as she readies all the tools and bits of torture for the dentist to use. Once she is all prepped, she leaves the room and tells you that the dentist will be right with you. You wait in awkward silence for a few minutes, alternating between fumbling with your phone and watching an unfamiliar daytime talk show with poorly typed closed captioning. At long last the dentist enters and asks how you’re doing as he looks over your records. He finally comes over and stands by your chair, and you automatically open your mouth. You realize a second later that he’s not ready to start and that your mouth is gaping for no reason. Opening your mouth too early at the dentist is a reflex. And it makes you feel stupid because your mouth instinctively gapes open whenever he gets close. It’s uncontrollable. It makes it impossible to hold a conversation with him. It’s hard to talk with your mouth wide open.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

SUN0319N-Dentist

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Losing a Tooth

Losing a tooth is awesome when you’re a kid. Losing a tooth is terrible when you’re an adult. When you’re a kid, losing a tooth means a visit from the Tooth Fairy and getting money. When you’re an adult, losing a tooth means a visit to the dentist and spending money. When you’re a kid, losing a tooth means another one will grow in its place. When you’re an adult, losing a tooth means dentures. I guess that I’m trying to say that losing a tooth has lost its allure. There was a time when I would have loved losing a tooth. Now it’s something I worry about. I miss the days when I was still immortal and regenerative.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Unknown

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Numb Mouth

I went to the dentist today to get a cap and a filling. Fun times, I know. But he did stab me with a needle and make my mouth numb. The dental procedure went well, just a little bit longer than I would have liked. I eventually escaped the chair and have been experiencing a numb mouth for the past few hours. It makes eating more of a challenge. You have to make sure you’re not chewing on your cheeks or dribbling soup down your chin. I can’t feel my lips or my tongue and I have a slight slur to my speech. If I saw myself on the street, I would assume that I was drunk. A numb mouth is a weird sensation. I kind of like it but I’d rather be drunk.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Root Canal

Sorry to rock your world, but there’s shit inside your teeth that can become infected and fucking kill you. Inside each tooth there is pulp, a soft tissue composed of nerves, blood vessels, connective tissue, and fun stuff like that. If the pulp gets infected than you need to get a root canal. That’s where the dentist drills into your tooth, scrapes out all the pulp, cleans the inside of your tooth, fills it up, and tops it with a crown. It’s a relatively painless procedure, other than getting jabbed and stabbed with needles to numb the area. It’s also kind of expensive because BMWs aren’t cheap and the dentist needs to get around somehow.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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