Tag Archives: cigarette

Smoking on the Bus

Last night I witnessed something so ballsy or dickish that it blew my mind and became the subject for this post. I was on the late bus going home and saw a guy get up right before his stop, bum a cigarette from another passenger, put it in his mouth, ask for a light, wait for the doors to open, spark the lighter and light his cig, and toss the lighter back as he got off the bus. He wasn’t exactly smoking on the bus, but he definitely lit a cigarette on public transportation like it was the goddamn 1950s. It was pretty badass. He looked cool as fuck. If I were an impressionable teenager, I’d probably start copying him and start a new high school trend. The smoke took a while to waft over, and I could hardly notice the scent when it did. No harm, no foul as far as I’m concerned.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cigarette Butts

One of the biggest drawbacks to smoking isn’t cancer, it’s cigarette butts. Cigarette butts are the leftovers from a cigarette that’s been smoked. It’s the part with the filter and a tiny nub of tobacco. They are everywhere because cigarette smokers like to flick their butt when they finish smoking. As a consequence you will find cigarette butts littering the city streets and sidewalks, on beaches and on the sides of hiking trails, they are all over the place. You will find them anywhere a smoker can go and smokers can go anywhere. I have a theory that smokers aren’t deliberately leaving their garbage everywhere to be assholes, they only do it because they don’t want to get lost a la Hansel and Gretel.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Cigarette Club

People who smoke cigarettes are part of a club: the Cigarette Club. Being a member allows you to approach anybody that is smoking or carrying cigarettes and ask them for a smoke. They are obliged to hand one to you. You can also ask for a light at anytime. They will either light your cigarette for you or hand you a pack of matches. But if you are a club member you are also obliged to give up cigarettes to any stranger who asks for one. And offer them a light on top of it. And pretend like you don’t mind. If you want to join, membership is easy. All it requires is a one-time purchase of a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and you’re in. Now every smoking stranger is your friend. But friends mooch sometimes. Sometimes you’re the moocher and sometimes you’re the moochie. At least you’re part of a club.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Camel Crush

I’m not really a smoker. A cigarette smoker. But sometimes I will buy a pack and I don’t care what kind I get. I don’t care about the brand, I don’t care if they are cloves, regular cigarettes, or menthols. The other day I bummed a cigarette off a friend, and he happened to carrying a pack of Camel Crush. They are cigarettes with a mentholated capsule in the filter. So you light the cigarette, take a few drags, and then you crush the filter and you suddenly have a menthol. It’s a hybrid, it’s a mutant, and it’s the future. I didn’t even know they had that kind of cigarette technology. I’m not saying that you should smoke, but you really can’t go wrong with Camel Crush is you’re an amateur like me.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Zig-Zag Rolling Papers

Zig-Zag is a company that makes rolling papers for cigarettes. They are inexpensive, usually $1-2 for a pack of thirty-two and they last for a while if you’re not using them to smoke cigarettes.  A lot of people use them for rolling joints or spliffs. Zig-Zag is like the Coca-Cola of rolling papers. If you ask someone to get you soda, they’ll come back with Coke. If you ask someone for papers, they’ll come back with Zig-Zags. There are a few other brands out there, but Zig-Zag is the most common and the most trusted.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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“I Don’t Smoke… Cigarettes”

You move to a new place and you need to find a new weed connection but you aren’t sure how to go about it. All you need to do is ask if someone smokes and listen to how they respond. If you ask if someone if they smoke, they will assume that you mean tobacco and they will respond with a simple yes or no. But if that person smokes weed, they will reply with a subtle response: “I don’t smoke cigarettes.” That means that they smoke something else, and that something else is probably weed. Hopefully it’s not crack or peyote that they are smoking. Either way, it’s better than tobacco.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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