Tag Archives: moocher

The Cigarette Club

People who smoke cigarettes are part of a club: the Cigarette Club. Being a member allows you to approach anybody that is smoking or carrying cigarettes and ask them for a smoke. They are obliged to hand one to you. You can also ask for a light at anytime. They will either light your cigarette for you or hand you a pack of matches. But if you are a club member you are also obliged to give up cigarettes to any stranger who asks for one. And offer them a light on top of it. And pretend like you don’t mind. If you want to join, membership is easy. All it requires is a one-time purchase of a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and you’re in. Now every smoking stranger is your friend. But friends mooch sometimes. Sometimes you’re the moocher and sometimes you’re the moochie. At least you’re part of a club.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants

Smoking Someone Out

Getting stoned is fun and getting stoned with other people is more fun. There’s nothing quite like passing a pipe or joint around with a good group of people. A lot of my friends smoke regularly so somebody always has weed, and there are usually two or three people contributing to each session. But there always seems to be a moocher who tries to jump in without offering anything in return. It’s ok to crash the occasional circle, but it’s bad form if you make a habit of smoking other people’s weed without offering anything in return. Weed is expensive; I can’t afford to get you high all the time. I don’t mind smoking someone out, but if I smoke you out, I expect a future session funded by you. Or a beer at least. And if somebody smokes me out, I make sure to return the favor. Real smoking buddies pass the pipe back and forth without any worries. If you packed the last bowl, I would pack the next. And I would give you a nugget from my personal stash if you were dry, because I know that you would sponsor the next session. Smoking someone out is an integral part of stoner culture. If you have weed, it’s a given that you’re going to have to smoke someone out. Just make sure it’s someone who will return the favor.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under 420