Tag Archives: cash

Count Your Money, Not Your Problems

Last Saturday was a crazy shift and I went to the bar afterwards with my fellow servers for a much needed drink. We bragged about our good tips, bitched about bad tables, complained about lazy coworkers, what we fucked up on… you know, normal server conversations. Servers bitch a lot. It’s a well known fact in the restaurant industry. We bitch when it’s busy, we bitch when it’s slow, we invent reasons to bitch. So believe me when I say that one of the guys in the group was bitching way too much. He went on and on about all the problems and ignorant people he had to deal with. It was too much. That’s when I realized something. We all needed to stop bitching. Work was tough but it was over, we survived. The nice thing about serving is that everyday is pay day. You go to work and leave with money to show for it. You need to take that cash out of your pocket and look at it. Count your money, not your problems. I know that’s not a profound quote but it’s a good philosophy to have as a server. And if you do have problems, throwing money at them will make them go away. 

Critically Rated at 12/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Passing Cash Down to the Vendor

I went to the San Francisco Giants game the other week with my friend. We scored some pretty decent seats about twenty rows behind home plate. It was a hot day and we were stuck in the sun. There was no escape from the heat unless we left our seats, and we are gamers so there was no way that was happening. We were going to sit there and be miserable. And we were. We were both dripping with sweat by the second inning. Luckily a vendor came by with some ice-cold lemonade. We hailed him, ordered a couple of lemonades, he passed them down the row, and we passed cash over to him, and then he passed back our change. It dawned on me how weird passing cash down to the vendor really is. You are trusting random strangers with your money. That’s one of the only places where you do that. Try pulling that shit at McDonald’s and see what happens. The craziest part is that nobody ever takes advantage of it. Just once I would love it if somebody tried to pocket a five-dollar bill during an exchange. But I’ve never seen it happen. You would have to be pretty bold or pretty stupid to try something like that. You’d have no escape and multiple witnesses. I’d like to try it sometime. Not because I need the money, I just want to watch how people would react. Maybe I’ll try it the next time a Dodgers fan tries to buy a bag of peanuts, because fuck the Dodgers.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

3605500169_5e7d1aa98b

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Not Bringing Enough Cash

I work in the service industry. I rely on tips to make a living and cash is my preferred method of payment. I also live in San Francisco, and that means that there’s always something to do and it always costs more money than it should. Sometimes I end up not bringing enough cash. That sucks. It means that I failed at sticking to my budget. It also means that I have to hunt down an ATM, and I have to pay fees if I can’t find my bank’s ATM somewhere. Not only do I forget to bring cash, I get fined for it. It’s a slight inconvenience, but it’s still an inconvenience. Bah, why does life have to be so hard?

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

cash-mone

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Facing Money

I’m slightly OCD about a few things and facing money is one of them. I can’t stand a wad of crumpled bills in my pocket. I need more structure and organization that that. I need to have my cash sorted by denomination with all the portraits the right side up. When I unfold my cash you’re going to see in order Washington, Lincoln, Hamilton, Jackson, Grant, and Franklin if I had a good day at work. I respect money so it’s only logical that I face it. Plus facing money makes it easier to spend it and that’s the whole point of having cash anyway. Right? Please tell me I’m right.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

cash-in-hand

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Unload Some Ones

I’m a server and a bartender so I rely on tips to make a living. I leave each shift with a pocket full of cash. I prefer to keep larger bills like hundreds, fifties, and twenties, but some days I’m stuck with a bunch of fives and ones. I live in San Francisco… small denomination bills are about as practical as a pocketful of change. You can’t buy anything with a dollar. Even the bums will call you a cheapskate for dropping a buck in their pity cup. Whenever I’m stuck with a wad of ones, I head to my local liquor store and tell him that I’m going to unload some ones on him. The cashier is usually grateful because they’re always low on one-dollar bills. Every once in a while they don’t need them, so it’s a good idea to ask the cashier if he wants them. It also takes a while to count it out, so pick your moments. Don’t do it when there’s a line of customers. You don’t want to be a dick. Most of the time the cashier will accept them with a smile and you’ll leave with a lighter pocket. Everybody wins.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Gift Card

A gift card is something that you get for someone when you don’t know what to give them. It’s almost as good as cash but not as tacky. You know that your mom likes to read but you don’t know which crappy murder mysteries she’s already read. Boom, gift card. You know that your brother likes music but doesn’t like paying for it. Boom, gift card. You just realized five minutes ago that it’s your best friend’s birthday. Boom, gift card. Shopping for people sucks. Let them choose what they want. Get them a gift card and be done with it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Finding Money

You could be having the worst day of your life, but nothing makes you smile like putting your hands in the pockets of a jacket you haven’t worn in a while and finding twenty bucks. It’s like a present from your forgetful self. Sometimes you’ll be trudging along the street and you’ll notice a little piece of paper with a familiar face on it. It might just be a five, but that’s a Slurpee and some munchies at 7-Eleven. Finding money on the ground at the bar is like winning the lottery.

Critically Rated at 17/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Entertainment

Hundreds

Puff Daddy said it best: “It’s all about the Benjamins!” This is my favorite US currency with a non-president on it. Benjamin Franklin was a bad ass. He was a true Renaissance Man, a jack-of-all-trades. He makes Thomas Jefferson look like George W. Bush. He was just that awesome. This is a big bill, the largest denomination currently being printed. They aren’t as practical as twenties, but they are definitely more fun to have.

The clock on Independence Hall on the back says 4:10. If it were ten minutes later it would get a perfect score.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Fifties

Fifty-dollar bills are the second highest denomination for US currency. They are kind of lame. They have to share a cash register slot with hundreds. I would rather have a few tens and crumpled ones than a fifty-dollar bill. Grant is the featured president. He was a good general but a pretty mediocre president with a corrupt office. I really want a bill with like an eagle catching a snake and the snake is on fire. I think that would be better than sticking lame presidents on potentially cool bills.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants