Unload Some Ones

I’m a server and a bartender so I rely on tips to make a living. I leave each shift with a pocket full of cash. I prefer to keep larger bills like hundreds, fifties, and twenties, but some days I’m stuck with a bunch of fives and ones. I live in San Francisco… small denomination bills are about as practical as a pocketful of change. You can’t buy anything with a dollar. Even the bums will call you a cheapskate for dropping a buck in their pity cup. Whenever I’m stuck with a wad of ones, I head to my local liquor store and tell him that I’m going to unload some ones on him. The cashier is usually grateful because they’re always low on one-dollar bills. Every once in a while they don’t need them, so it’s a good idea to ask the cashier if he wants them. It also takes a while to count it out, so pick your moments. Don’t do it when there’s a line of customers. You don’t want to be a dick. Most of the time the cashier will accept them with a smile and you’ll leave with a lighter pocket. Everybody wins.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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