Tag Archives: ones

Unload Some Ones

I’m a server and a bartender so I rely on tips to make a living. I leave each shift with a pocket full of cash. I prefer to keep larger bills like hundreds, fifties, and twenties, but some days I’m stuck with a bunch of fives and ones. I live in San Francisco… small denomination bills are about as practical as a pocketful of change. You can’t buy anything with a dollar. Even the bums will call you a cheapskate for dropping a buck in their pity cup. Whenever I’m stuck with a wad of ones, I head to my local liquor store and tell him that I’m going to unload some ones on him. The cashier is usually grateful because they’re always low on one-dollar bills. Every once in a while they don’t need them, so it’s a good idea to ask the cashier if he wants them. It also takes a while to count it out, so pick your moments. Don’t do it when there’s a line of customers. You don’t want to be a dick. Most of the time the cashier will accept them with a smile and you’ll leave with a lighter pocket. Everybody wins.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Ones

The lowest dollar bill denomination that we have. A lot of money if you are five years old, but they are the pennies of paper currency. They are kind of cryptic and have weird symbols like a pyramid with an eye and an owl/spider (depending on who you ask) hidden in the upper right corner behind the shield. Crispy, sexy ones are ideal for vending machines and for bus fare. George Washington rocks the front. He is on the dollar bill, the quarter and has a dollar coin as well, he’s tied with Lincoln and Jefferson for being featured on three different denominations.

Critically Rated at 14/17.

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