Tag Archives: bus stop

An Old Man and his Hose

I took the bus to work yesterday and there was an old man by the bus stop washing the sidewalk with a hose and a bucket of soapy water. As I walked up, I saw the notification that my bus was one minute away so I posted up near where one of the bus doors would open. I was standing there looking at my phone when I heard someone say, “You need to move! Hey, you need to move!”

I turned around to see what was going on. It was the old man washing the sidewalk, staring directly at me with his hose in his hand. He said I needed to move again. I looked right at him and said, “I’m waiting for the bus and this is the bus stop.” He told me I needed to move again. I asked him if he was threatening me a hose. At this point the bus was pulling up and the seven other people waiting at the bus stop starting walking through his freshly washed sidewalk to get on the bus and that seemed to really set him off. He started yelling at me and the other people that he makes more money than us. He makes four hundred dollars a day! He makes more money than we will ever see in our lives!

A few other people joined me in my casual resistance of the sidewalk tyrant by laughing at his pathetic attempts to start a fight. He didn’t like that because then he glared at me and said, “Semper Fi! That’s right! I’m a Marine, bitch!” I told him that Memorial Day was yesterday (it really was), and I got on the bus while he was still yelling about how rich he was and how that makes him a better person. I rode off on the bus, leaving behind the old man and his hose but gaining a new story of how miserable some people are.

That old man ultimately did me a great favor. I had no idea how lucrative washing the sidewalk could be. I’m going to get me a water hose.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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When the Bus Drives By

I got off work late the other night and all I wanted to do was catch the first bus home and call it a night. I got to the bus stop, checked by bus schedule app, and knew that there would be a bus coming along within the next two minutes. Sure enough, two minutes went by and I saw my bus approaching. It came closer and closer, it started to slow down and then it kept driving right past me without stopping. The driver was going just slow enough to show the few passengers and the many empty seats through the windows. The driver wanted me to know that he wasn’t going to stop. I imagine he was watching my crestfallen face in his rearview mirror as he laughed and laughed as he drove on down the road. I felt betrayed. I felt hurt. I felt invalid. Nothing makes you feel as unwanted as when the bus drives by. You feel invisible, like a ghost, like you don’t exist.  And then you get angry and flip off the bus driver and silently curse him because that’s all you can do. Then you wait for the next bus.

Critically Rated at 2/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Snoring Homeless Guy

The other night I was trying to catch a late bus to get back to my house. I got to the bus stop with a few minutes to spare and was waiting for the bus to show up, and that’s when I heard somebody snoring. I looked around and discovered the source of the sound: it was a bum sleeping on the street right behind the bus stop. It was mindboggling how anyone could possibly be sleeping so soundly without a care in the world, especially on a crowded sidewalk by a busy street. I was actually a little jealous of him because I can’t remember the last time that I had a peaceful slumber of my own. It’s kind of sad when a snoring homeless guy gets a better night’s sleep than me. It’s not fair, my bed is way more comfortable than his cardboard box but he’s sleeping like a baby while I toss and turn. At least I don’t have to worry about getting shanked while I’m passed out.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting to the Bus Stop and Seeing Your Bus Approaching

One of the worst things about public transportation is waiting for the public transportation. It’s a shitty feeling to get to your bus stop and seeing your bus driving away. But nothing beats getting to the bus stop and seeing your bus approaching. You casually stroll over as the bus starts slowing down, how convenient. You just need to jump on board and find a seat. No muss, no fuss. You have to enjoy those fleeting moments when the universe seems to revolve around you.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Getting Up For Your Stop Too Early

You’re on the train or bus heading for your destination and you know that your stop is coming up. In fact, it’s the next stop. So you ding the dingy and get up and shuffle towards the door. But then the vehicle stops at a light or yields for a pedestrian and you’re stuck standing awkwardly by the exit. The clock keeps ticking and seconds turn to minutes and you realize you got up too early. You glance back at your seat and a stressed-out guy in a business suit has already taken it. You were too anxious and karma kicked you in the ass this time. The only thing you can do is act like you meant to get up, like you wanted to stretch your legs or be polite or some other nonsensical reason. Nobody buys it. You fucked up and everyone else knows it.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Missing Your Stop

Taking the bus is a good thing. It’s good for the environment. It’s good for your budget. You just need to know where to jump on and where to hop off. Knowing your stop is essential to taking the bus. If you don’t pay attention to where you are going, how will you know when you get there? Missing your stop is the sign of an amateur, but it happens to everybody. You just have to calm yourself and pretend like it was intentional, that you wanted to walk an extra few blocks back to your stop. Exercise, you know?

Critically Rated at 9/17

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