Tag Archives: homeless guy

January 28, 2014 · 11:31 am

Shaking a Cup

There’s a lazy bum begging for spare change that I see practically every time I go downtown. I know that he’s lazy because he begs by shaking a cup. He doesn’t have a cardboard sign with anything witty written on it, he doesn’t talk or ask for money in a witty way, all he does is shake a cup in an attempt to entice you to donate. He doesn’t even shake the cup to a beat or make a song out of it. He just sees you approaching and shakes the cup. It’s pathetic, not just because he’s a bum, but because he doesn’t put any effort into his begging at all. He doesn’t even ask if I have any cash, he just shakes a cup. If you want money, then ask me for it. Shaking a cup means nothing to me. Be gone with you.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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September 19, 2013 · 7:14 pm

A Homeless Guy Rollerblading

I got home late last night and got off my train a few stop early to stop by the store. I got some beer and some food and started walking home. I heard the familiar click-clacking sound of polyurethane wheels rolling over cement and turned around expecting to see a skateboarder, and was quite surprised to see a homeless guy rollerblading past me. First off, I wasn’t expecting to see a rollerblader, and there was no way in hell that I could have possible guessed that it would be a bum on wheels. But there he was, gliding by me with the grace of Kristi Yamaguchi. Not only was he graceful, he was good too. He was doing tricks and jumps and skating backwards and bombing down short hills. It’s good to know that you can still have a moment of joy when you don’t have anything else.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 16, 2013 · 9:52 am

A Bum Doing Laundry

Today was laundry day, so I brought my dirty clothes to the Laundromat and started throwing them into the washing machine. As I was doing this, I caught a whiff of something unpleasant and it wasn’t coming from my soiled drawers. I glanced around and spotted the source… there was a homeless guy fifteen feet away sitting on a chair and staring intently at his clothes thumping around in a dryer. I had to do a double take. I’ve never seen a bum doing laundry before. I just assumed that they changed one dirty outfit for another, or that they just wear the same exact thing every single day. Maybe most of them do. But this guy saved up a few bucks and used it to wash his clothes. He might not be able to take a shower, but he can still enjoy the feeling of a freshly cleaned shirt straight from the dryer. You have to take comfort in the little things in life, and that’s what this guy was doing. You sometimes forget that homeless people are homeless people, and sometimes it takes a bum doing laundry to remember that.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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August 8, 2013 · 9:51 am

A Snoring Homeless Guy

The other night I was trying to catch a late bus to get back to my house. I got to the bus stop with a few minutes to spare and was waiting for the bus to show up, and that’s when I heard somebody snoring. I looked around and discovered the source of the sound: it was a bum sleeping on the street right behind the bus stop. It was mindboggling how anyone could possibly be sleeping so soundly without a care in the world, especially on a crowded sidewalk by a busy street. I was actually a little jealous of him because I can’t remember the last time that I had a peaceful slumber of my own. It’s kind of sad when a snoring homeless guy gets a better night’s sleep than me. It’s not fair, my bed is way more comfortable than his cardboard box but he’s sleeping like a baby while I toss and turn. At least I don’t have to worry about getting shanked while I’m passed out.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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