Category Archives: Entertainment

TV, Movies, etc

November 30, 2014 · 4:38 pm

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

I was really bored the other day and I bought a subscription to Netflix. One of the first things that I watched was Jiro Dreams of Sushi. It’s a 2011 documentary about an 85-year-old sushi master who has dedicated his life to perfecting the art of sushi. Jiro pours his heart and soul into his craft, and is considered the best in the world. You must make reservations months in advance for a chance to eat at his ten-seat restaurant, and sushi is the only thing on the menu. He doesn’t do appetizers. He doesn’t do dessert. He does sushi, and he does it better than anyone else.

The film explores Jiro’s work ethic and how he demands nothing but the best from his staff. He won’t settle for anything less. He scours the market for the best fish available. He uses the highest quality rice. He makes his chefs create the same dish over and over again until they make it right. Jiro has two sons, both of whom are also sushi chefs. The younger one opened his own sushi restaurant, replicating the menu and feel of his father’s restaurant, while the older son is being primed to replace Jiro in the original restaurant.

This isn’t a film about making sushi. It’s a film about pursuing your goals and striving to master your craft. It’s about integrity, professionalism, and honor. It makes you think about what you are passionate about and if you have the determination to succeed at it. I repeat, it’s not about sushi. But you will crave it the entire time you’re watching it.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 28, 2014 · 1:10 pm

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Official Teaser Trailer

The first official teaser trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens has arrived in theaters and online and nerds everywhere can rejoice. The trailer is only a minute and half long but there are lots of things that stand out, particularly the return of the Millennium Falcon, X-wings, and TIE fighters. There’s also a seemingly-Sith villain carrying a new type of lightsaber with a laser cross-guard. There are stormtroopers and they have actual, physical armor costumes again, none of that shoddy CG armor that we saw in Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. One thing I noticed is the title is simplified. It’s just Star Wars: The Force Awakens. They omitted the episode number for some reason. It’s like they want us to forget about the dismal prequel trilogy and return to the spirit of the original trilogy. This first glimpse looks fantastic; I have full faith in J.J. Abrams and his vision. December 2015 needs to hurry up and get here already.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 26, 2014 · 9:47 pm

Vulcan Salute

The Vulcan Salute is something that even non-Trekkies know about. It’s when you point your palm outward with your fingers splayed out. Your pinkie and ring finger should be together, your index and pointer finger should be together, and your thumb extended. The gesture is often followed with the expression Live long and prosper. Gene Roddenberry might have come up with the idea, but Leonard Nimoy is the one who brought it to life. He came up with the iconic salute, basing it on ancient Jewish symbolism. It feels universal because it is rooted in history. He just modernized it and made it cool.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 25, 2014 · 4:44 pm

“Crocodile” Dundee

“Crocodile” Dundee is a 1986 comedy and my favorite Australian film. It stars Paul Hogan as the titular Michael J. “Crocodile” Dundee, a bushman who narrowly survived an encounter with a Saltwater Crocodile. His story is enough to get the attention of Sue Charlton (played by Linda Kozlowski), a New York reporter. She tracks him down to get the scoop. “Crocodile” Dundee and Sue go out into the Outback to retrace his steps. He shows her the beauties of Australia and the two of them start falling for each other, despite the fact that Sue is in a relationship with her editor.

Sue doesn’t want their time together to end, so she asks him to come to New York City pretending that she wants to find an adequate ending to her article. He agrees, and then the film transitions into a fish-out-of-water story. Look at the wacky Australian struggling to figure out American culture! Hilarious! The film might be clichéd, but it works because it has heart. Paul Hogan came up with the story and turned himself into a household name. The love story that is the backbone of the film was genuine. Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski got married in real life. They divorced in 2013 but that’s beside the point. They had a genuine connection and it shows on screen, especially in the climatic scene (which is by far the best love scene set in a subway station is all of cinema).

It was a massive hit. It only had an $8.8 million budget, yet it managed to make over $328,203,506 at the box office. The film became more than a movie. It became a part of pop culture. “That’s not a knife, that’s a knife!” is one of those iconic quotes that everybody knows even if they haven’t seen it. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you should. It’s been out for almost thirty years now. Get on it.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 17, 2014 · 9:38 pm

Toy in the Cereal Box

One of the best things about childhood was getting a toy in the cereal box. I grew up with three siblings and breakfast time would sometime erupt into a war over who got the toy. It was always a shitty toy made of cheap plastic and it was never something worth paying money for. But it was free and it was there and I wanted it. Actually, I didn’t really want it, I just didn’t want my sister to have it. And she didn’t want me to have it. So we would fight over it until we would get sent to our rooms. The winner was the lucky one who ended up with the toy. That toy became so much more than a toy if you emerged victorious. It became a trophy. It was something that you earned. You would flaunt it around and taunt your siblings with it for a couple of days until the excitement died down. Then a few days after that we would get a new box of cereal and the battle would begin anew. I used to have a whole collection of cereal box toys. I wonder what happened to them. I hope my sister didn’t find them, that fucking cunt.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 14, 2014 · 6:13 pm

Connect Four

Connect Four is a game in which two players take turns dropping discs into the vertical playing grid. Whoever gets four of their own discs in a row first wins. You can win horizontally, vertically, or diagonally. It’s a classic game, you’ve probably played it a million times growing up. It’s easy to learn and hard to master. It’s not like chess though, you only play Connect Four every so often. It’s not something that you play every single day so nobody is particularly great at it and the competition is fairly level. If you are really good at Connect Four, you should consider getting a new hobby because you’re fucking lame. This is the kind of game that you play when you have a friend over and the power goes out. Monopoly is too long and it’s way too easy to cheat at Battleship. Connect Four is ideal in this situation. You can play one game, best of three, or have a little tournament. It gets a little competitive sometimes, but nobody takes it too seriously. There’s no glory in winning Connect Four so there’s no shame in losing.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 10, 2014 · 9:23 pm

Finishing Up a Series

Finishing up a series is always bittersweet. There’s a sense of accomplishment in that you finished it, but then you feel a bit empty when it’s over. I remember getting to the last hundred pages of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and realizing that I was almost done with it. I wouldn’t have any more Harry Potter stories to look forward to once I finished reading it. I wanted to know what happened but I didn’t want it to end. That’s how I feel whenever I reach the end of an epic saga. It doesn’t matter if it’s a series of books, or a TV show, or a movie trilogy. I want it to keep going. There’s a memorable scene in the cult classic Freaks and Geeks where a hippie chick is describing how amazing the Grateful Dead’s American Beauty album is. She says that she wishes she never heard it so that she could hear it again for the first time. There’s nothing quite like the first time you experience something. You can’t go back. You can only find something new.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 5, 2014 · 7:02 pm

Neighbors (film)

Neighbors is a 2014 comedy starring Seth Rogan and Zac Effron. It’s directed by Nicholas Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek. The film is about a young couple that gets into a rivalry with the frat house next door. Mac and Kelly Radner (Seth Rogan and Rose Byrne) have just bought their first house and have settled in with their infant daughter. They are trying to adapt to their new family lifestyle and seem to be adjusting nicely until the Delta Psi Beta fraternity moves in next door. The Radners introduce themselves to Teddy and Pete (Zac Effron and Dave Franco), the leaders of the frat. The Radners hesitantly ask if they could keep the noise down at night so their baby could sleep and Teddy agrees but asks that Radners call him personally if they are too loud and not to call the cops. A few nights later the frat is being loud and the Radners try calling Teddy, but Teddy won’t answer and the Radners end up calling the cops. The cops show up, the frat finds out it was them that called the cops, and they declare war on the Radners.

The rest of the film is a classic escalating prank war as both sides try to outwit each other. Delta Psi Beta starts to torment the Radners as the Radners try to find a way to get the fraternity kicked out of school by exploiting the university’s three strikes policy. Sometimes the frat is winning, sometimes the Radners are winning. Both sides fight amongst themselves as the stakes and tension rise. There are a lot of funny gags and great lines, and the movie is elevated because the cast is so likeable. Rogan and Byrne make for a great couple, and Zac Effron and Dave Franco are hilarious as well. Oh, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse is in it too. Any movie is automatically better if McLovin is in it. It’s a good movie, maybe not destined to be a classic, but it’s worth watching and you might catch yourself quoting it quite a bit.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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November 3, 2014 · 7:48 pm

The Wolverine (film)

Hugh Jackman returns to his iconic role as Logan/Wolverine in 2013’s The Wolverine. It’s directed by James Mangold, the same guy who wrote and directed Walk the Line. He knows how to make a dramatic, Oscar-worthy film. Too bad this is supposed to be an action flick and his directing style drags the film down. It’s a sequel of sorts to X-Men: The Last Stand and you get to see how Logan is handling the death of Jean Grey. The answer is not well. He’s living in the woods, keeps to himself, and dreams about Jean every night. He’s lost his way and has become a broken soldier. All this changes when a mutant precog named Yukio tracks Logan down and brings him to Japan.

It turns out Logan was summoned there by a guy named Yashida, a former Japanese soldier that Logan saved during World War II. Yashida is now the dying CEO of a huge company and he wants to pay his life debt to Logan before he succumbs to cancer. Yashida offers to transfer Logan’s healing abilities into his own body to alleviate him of the curse of immortality. Logan refuses and Yashida passes away. A few days later a few members of the Yakuza try to kidnap Yashida’s granddaughter, Mariko, at the funeral. Logan must protect Mariko and find out who tried to kidnap her and why. Only Logan must do it without his trademark healing abilities, which have mysteriously stopped working at that point.

It turns into your stereotypical chase/whodunit movie at that point. It’s like The Bourne Identity. A guy with superior fighting skills and a pretty girl on the run and hiding out from bad guys, they’re trying to solve a mystery and falling for each other at the same time. There’s a lot of unnecessarily sappy dialog and the dramatic scenes slow down the pace to a crawl. The film gets boring. And a film about mutants, particularly the most badass mutant, should never be boring. Having Logan lose his healing powers was a big mistake. It’s so pointless to have a superhero lose his powers. It doesn’t add any tension. You know that he’s going to get them back eventually.

The action scenes are decent, but I expected them to be a lot better. It doesn’t seem like an X-Men movie. There needs to be more spectacle. The best action sequence was the fight on top of the bullet train. The climactic battle was a bit of a let down as well. All in all this is an adequate action film, but a disappointing superhero film. It’s just kind of meh.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 31, 2014 · 9:55 pm

OK Go

OK Go is an American alternative rock band known for their catchy songs and awesome music videos. Their music videos are what really set them apart, gaining popularity not just on MTV but on YouTube especially. They released a few music videos online but they really blew up with the video for “Here It Goes Again” in which they performed a tightly choreographed dance on treadmills. They released a few other awesome videos incorporating everything from stop motion to trained dogs to elaborate Rube Goldberg machines. Their new video for “I Won’t Let You Down” might just be their most creative video yet. I’ve watched a few times and still can’t figure out how they did it. It’s starts out simple and gets bigger and bigger and bigger until you can’t comprehend the complexity of it all. It seems like it’s done all in one take but there’s no way in Hell that anyone could do that. There has to be green screens and CG and advanced robots involved. I don’t even know how they came up with the idea for the video. Words can’t describe it. You just have to watch it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 31, 2014 · 9:53 pm

Jordan Rides the Bus (documentary)

Jordan Rides the Bus is another entry in ESPN’s 30 for 30 series. It’s an interesting documentary that explores what happened when NBA legend Michael Jordan retired from basketball at the height of his popularity to give professional baseball a shot. Director Ron Shelton examines the reasons why Michael left one game for another and shows the struggles and triumphs of Michael’s stint in the Minor Leagues. Basically he stinks in the beginning, puts a lot of effort into getting better, he improves a little bit, and then he went back to playing in the NBA. Sorry for the spoilers but you should already know that.

Michael Jordan has been considered the best basketball player of all time and his attempt at playing baseball has often been considered a punchline. This documentary makes you realize that it wasn’t a joke. The guy really wanted to be a baseball player. He sucked but that’s beside the point. The point is that he tried. He doesn’t regret anything in the end. His time in the bush league took him from the top of the pedestal to the bottom, he learned some humility, and he became a better person and teammate when he triumphantly returned to the NBA.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 28, 2014 · 12:40 pm

Wilhelm Scream

The Wilhelm scream is one of the most famous sound effects in cinema and television. You’ve heard it hundreds of times even if you haven’t been aware of it. Have you seen any Star Wars or Indiana Jones movies? You’ve heard it. A fan of Tarantino flicks? You’ve heard it. Watched any of the Lord of the Rings and/or The Hobbit films? You’ve heard it. It first appeared in 1951’s Distant Drums and later became a stock sound effect. It was later renamed after 1953’s The Charge at Feather River when a character called Private Wilhelm gets shot with an arrow. It became a Hollywood fixture when sound designer Ben Burtt rediscovered it and put it in Star Wars. Other sound designers picked up on it and inserted it into their films as an in-joke. Once you’re heard the distinctive scream it becomes impossible to forget. It puts a smile on your face whenever you’re watching the latest blockbuster and it pops up. You can’t escape it once you’re aware of it.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 28, 2014 · 12:39 pm

Wet Hot American Summer

Wet Hot American Summer is a 2001 comedy about the last day of summer at the fictional Camp Firewood. It’s not just a comedy; it’s completely off the wall and ridiculous. It’s more like Airplane! than most comedy films that come out. It’s packed with jokes, one-liners, and sight gags. It has a pretty solid cast featuring Michael Showalter, David Hyde Pierce, Bradley Cooper, Janeane Garofalo, Elizabeth Banks, Paul Rudd, Amy Poehler, Michael Ian Black, Molly Shannon, and more. The movie was a flop when it came out but it’s become a cult classic in the years since.

There’s a plot, albeit a nonsensical one. It’s the last day of camp and the big talent show is tonight. Coop has a crush on Katie, but she’s in a relationship with the douchey Andy. Camp director Beth has a mutual crush on Associate Professor Henry Newman, but they are both too awkward to act on it. And to make things more complicated, Henry has detected a piece of NASA’s Skylab has broken off and is heading directly for the camp and he must find a way to stop the disaster. Even though the film takes place in one day, there’s no way that all the things that happen in the movie could happen in one day. It’s like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off but they acknowledge the fact that it’s impossible and have fun with it, like the scene where the camp counselors go into town and have a crazy drug-fueled montage and return to camp an hour later.

This movie is the smart kind of stupid. And it’s not for everyone. Watch it for ten minutes and give it time to settle in. If you don’t like it by then, stop watching it. But if you manage to make it through the whole movie, it will become one of your favorite comedies. Well, it should be at least. You might have awful taste in movies.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 26, 2014 · 1:25 pm

LeVar Burton Reads “Go the Fuck to Sleep”

LeVar Burton is an actor most famous for portraying the young Kunta Kinte in Roots, the blind guy in Star Trek: The Next Generation, and as the host of Reading Rainbow. He got millions of young Americans interested in books and literature. He’s not quite Mr. Rogers, but he’s been a positive influence in children’s television programming for decades. Recently he did a reading of Adam Mansbach’s Go the Fuck to Sleep as part of telethon to raise money for charity. Go the Fuck to Sleep is not a children’s book. It’s a parody of children’s books written from the perspective of an exasperated parent trying to get their kid to go the fuck to sleep, and it’s full of cuss words that would get bleeped on basic cable. LeVar reads the short story to a group of adults sitting cross-legged and listening intently. It’s impossible not to have flashbacks to your childhood, but it’s slightly jarring (and also hilarious) to hear him cussing like a sailor. LeVar agreed to do the reading if viewers donated $75,000. The telethon ended up raising $442,389. That’s not all LeVar, but he definitely helped.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 20, 2014 · 9:21 pm

The Day The Series Stopped (documentary)

October 17th was the twenty-fifth anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake and the San Francisco Giants are in the World Series again, so it only seems fitting to talk about ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentary The Day The Series Stopped. Director Ryan Fleck takes you back to the unforgettable 1989 earthquake that rocked the Bay Area just prior to the World Series Game 3 between the A’s and the Giants. It’s not the best documentary about the Loma Prieta earthquake, but it’s definitely the most sports-focused one.

The documentary begins by exploring the rivalry between the two teams and cities and setting up the atmosphere of the Bay Area at the time. You meet the important players and coaches and characters from each team. You meet a few fans and what their teams mean to them. Fleck does a great job of setting you up for the moment that changed everything. At 5:04 p.m. the ground started to shake as 6.9 magnitude quake roared to life. You experience the quake through the eyes of the players, coaches, broadcasters, and fans in the stadium that day.

At first they are shaken, then relieved, then they want the game to start. But soon they start to hear reports of all the widespread damage and chaos and the scope of the tragedy starts to set in. Baseball takes a backseat to Mother Nature any day of the week. The documentary explores the eyewitness accounts of fans, players, and coaches and even delves into the science of earthquakes. It shows the healing power of sports through escapism. It’s emotional, educational, and entertaining. It’s not the best 30 for 30 documentary but it’s one of my favorites. Although, I’m a little bit biased because I experienced the quake myself and my parents were at that game. It’s worth watching.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 19, 2014 · 12:21 pm

A Dreaming Dog

There are few things in life more amusing than a dreaming dog. Your favorite pooch will be splayed out on the floor fast asleep except for the occasional yip and soft growl. You can’t help but smile as his legs start twitching and moving, and you know that he’s running around in dreamland, chasing squirrels and barking at skateboarders. You’ll never know what he’s actually dreaming about. He could be dreaming about eating delicious people food, finally catching his tail, or winning his war with the cat. You’re golden as long as he’s not dreaming about gnawing on your face. Let sleeping dogs lie, but have your camera ready just in case he sleep runs into the wall. Then you can be a YouTube sensation like this guy.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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October 17, 2014 · 10:17 pm

400 Views

CriticallyRated.com reached a milestone today. We hit 400 daily views for the first time in our 2+ year history. That doesn’t sound too impressive, but you have to consider the fact that we don’t advertise and rely solely on word of mouth to generate traffic. We’ve slowly gathered a cult following thanks to our many readers, especially the ones who take the time to share a link. CriticallyRated.com has been a passion project for me, and it’s become one of the most rewarding things that I’ve done in life. I’ve done things that I never thought I would experience just so that I could Critically Rate it. I never claimed to be an expert on anything, nor do I want to be. I just want to voice my opinion and have other people relate to it. And people have. So I thank you, thank you, and thank you again. I’m easy to please. I’m happy to get a text message from a friend, so I’m beyond honored and shocked when hundreds of people take the time to read some bullshit that I wrote. Thank you for checking it out and thank you for coming back. Even though I run it, it’s our blog.

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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