Tag Archives: trophy

Toy in the Cereal Box

One of the best things about childhood was getting a toy in the cereal box. I grew up with three siblings and breakfast time would sometime erupt into a war over who got the toy. It was always a shitty toy made of cheap plastic and it was never something worth paying money for. But it was free and it was there and I wanted it. Actually, I didn’t really want it, I just didn’t want my sister to have it. And she didn’t want me to have it. So we would fight over it until we would get sent to our rooms. The winner was the lucky one who ended up with the toy. That toy became so much more than a toy if you emerged victorious. It became a trophy. It was something that you earned. You would flaunt it around and taunt your siblings with it for a couple of days until the excitement died down. Then a few days after that we would get a new box of cereal and the battle would begin anew. I used to have a whole collection of cereal box toys. I wonder what happened to them. I hope my sister didn’t find them, that fucking cunt.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young


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Filed under Entertainment

Blue Ribbon

Blue Ribbons are the official prize of both science fairs and county fairs. I think that’s a lame reward. Imagine that you worked really hard all fall, winter and spring, and now your pig is perfectly big and plump, and you won First Place for Best Pig. You earned First Place. And to commemorate your perfect pig you get a Blue Ribbon. Fuck that, if I win something, I demand a trophy. Keep your blue cloth to yourself and give me a 3 foot tall piece of fake gold plated plastic. Blue Ribbons are cheap, just look at PBR.

Critically Rated at 5/17

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Filed under Random Rants