Category Archives: Entertainment

TV, Movies, etc

February 28, 2012 · 10:37 am

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (film)

David Yates steps in to direct, and he brings back the energy and joy of Prisoner of Azkaban. The fifth book was the longest, but the fifth movie was one of the shortest. Yates keeps the movie flowing and it is more energetic and fun than Goblet of Fire. Lots of things are left out of the movie, but they are alluded to. It captures the feel and tone of the fifth book, even though so much is left out. Even if you haven’t seen the other movies or read the books, this film is solid enough to stand alone.

This movie came out in July of 2007, the same month as the final book. It was a very good month for Potter fans. Not only did it also come out in IMAX, but the final twenty minutes were converted into 3D. Keep in mind that this was way before Avatar, and the whole movie was in 2D, but then when Harry and his friends jump on the Thestrals to save Sirius it becomes 3D. There were some great 3D moments as they explore the Department of Mysteries and get attacked by the Death Eaters, but nothing compares to Voldemort and Dumbledore’s fierce dual. Seriously some of the best use of 3D in film. It really added to the film, and because it was only 3D at the end, the 3D seemed more impressive. The dual is an amazing spectacle. Computer graphics can still make jaws drop if done correctly.

As per the trend, Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson continue to grow up and improve as actors. Gary Oldman has only a few scenes as Sirius, but establishes a real connection between Harry and Sirius. Keep in mind that Sirius only had one scene in Goblet of Fire, so it was vital for the audience to relate to Sirius so that when he dies you feel sorry for Harry. There is a great moment in the midst of the Ministry battle where Sirius calls Harry “James” by accident. It is a really brief but subtle allusion to Harry seeing Sirius as a father, but Sirius sees Harry as his friend. It sums up their relationship perfectly.

Two great female villains are introduced in this movie. Helena Bonham Carter portrays Bellatrix Lestrange, and makes her very deranged and psychotic. You can tell she went to the Alan Rickman School of Hamming It Up and graduated at the top of her class. Imelda Staunton steals the show with her portrayal of the loathsome and evil Dolores Umbridge. If you didn’t like Umbridge in the book, you will hate her in the movie. When she gets dragged off by the centaurs at the end, I still get giddy. It takes a lot of talent to not only have everyone hate your character, but to enjoy hating your character.

There was a lot of stuff left out of the movie. But it flows better and feels more like its paperback companion than Goblet of Fire. Yates did a great job and got the franchise back on track. A lot of people are critical of this movie, but in time I think it will be remembered as one of the best movies in the series.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 27, 2012 · 11:02 am

Kill Bill Volume 2

The Bride is back and she only has three more names on her list. We finally get to meet Bill and see his face for the first time. And not to spoil anything, but she kills Bill. Volume 1 was all action, but now we get to the story. We learn more about the Bride and we get more back-story and character development.  We finally find out the Bride’s real name and suddenly all those cryptic references to Trix and being affectionately called Kiddo makes sense.

The first Kill Bill was an action flick. Volume 2 is mostly exposition and story. There is a very savage fight between the Bride and Elle Driver, they beat the crap out of each other and destroy Budd’s trailer in the process. Daryl Hannah’s reaction to losing her eye is classic. She freaks out, loses all control, and starts flailing and trashing about. It is very realistic and very unsettling.

The most memorable and disturbing scene is when the Bride is caught by Budd and buried alive. If you watch the widescreen version, prior to being nailed into the coffin, the screen is cropped and full frame. Not only does it foreshadow what is to come, but it makes you feel trapped and claustrophobic. When the Bride is put in the coffin, the screen goes dark and the sounds get heightened. You hear each nail being pounded into place, you hear the coffin dragging along the ground and being tossed into the shallow grave, and as the shovelfuls of dirt fall on top of the casket and the Bride’s breathing becomes shallower and quicker, you feel like you are right there with her, being buried alive. It was a relief when she delves into her flashback and you can escape the confines of the pine box.

Her flashback to training with Pai Mei is a fun sequence. It is a good training montage. It provides a little humor and action with learning more about where the Bride is coming from. There is a lot more Tarantino dialog in this movie compared to the previous installment. The Bride has a great conversation with one of Bill’s father figures, Esteban, in Mexico. Budd has a nice moment with his brother. Everything Bill says is important and awesome and terrifying. His first conversation with the Bride right before the wedding massacre shows how loving and dangerous he is. His final great monolog is about Superman and Clark Kent, and even though it is brief, it sums up the themes of the Kill Bill saga.

In the first volume, the Bride kills dozens and dozens of people. She does it skillfully and violently, and with a lot of style. In this volume, she only kills Bill, and she does it quickly and simply, without any real fanfare or build up. Budd almost killed her, but failed. Elle Driver kills Budd with a black mamba. The Bride gets the better of Elle, and leaves her blinded and trapped with the black mamba, but she doesn’t kill her. It is almost the exact opposite of the first movie, but they fit together, they are both sides of the same coin. Volume 1 was a great action movie, but Volume 2 is a complete film and makes the first one even better.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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February 26, 2012 · 10:00 am

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (book)

This is the longest book in the Harry Potter series, and my personal favorite. There is way too much to review, so I’ll just be like the movie and leave out a bunch of stuff. J.K. Rowling takes Potter to a whole new level in this novel. Voldemort is back, but Cornelius Fudge and the Ministry of Magic refuse to believe it, and instead launch a campaign questioning Harry’s integrity and Dumbledore’s mental state.

The Ministry of Magic starts taking over Hogwarts slowly. First they make Fudge’s loyal employee, Dolores Umbridge, the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. They gradually start imposing more and more decrees, and get rid of Hogwarts staff that threatens them politically. Fudge is extremely paranoid of Dumbledore, thinking he’s starting an army to seize control of the Ministry. Umbridge wont let the students perform defensive spells.

Hermione is weary of not learning, and she convinces Harry to teach her and a few other willing students defensive spells. He is reluctant at first, but eventually chooses to lead the fight against Umbridge. Harry, Ron, and Hermione recruit a few other students and form Dumbledore’s Army.

Life at Hogwarts gets more and more miserable as the Ministry takes over. Umbridge gradually becomes Headmaster, and Dumbledore is forced out. The earlier books were full of hope; this book is full of despair. Harry spends a lot of time being angry. He is still haunted by Cedric’s death, he is angry that he is out of the loop, he is hurt that people don’t believe him. But he chooses to fight, he wants to fight. He becomes a leader by choice.

Voldemort tricks Harry into thinking Sirius is in danger. Harry leads a small band of Dumbledore’s Army on a rescue mission, and realizes it’s a trap. They become overwhelmed by the Death Eaters. Harry finds out Voldemort is interested in a mysterious prophecy that holds answers to Harry’s past. Harry and his friends put up a fight, and suddenly Dumbledore and members of the Order of the Phoenix show up to help. In the midst of the battle, Bellatrix Lestrange kills Sirius. Dumbledore and Voldemort have a fierce duel, and you see why Dumbledore is the only one Voldy ever feared.

Neville also becomes more important. You learn about his past and how his parents were tortured into insanity by Bellatrix Lestrange. He is an orphan of sorts, just like Harry. He learns a lot with Dumbledore’s Army and joins Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna at Department of Mysteries and fights bravely. The prophecy also reveals that Neville could have been the Chosen one. “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches … born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies … and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not … and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives … the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies …” Neville and Harry were born just one day apart, both their parents defied Voldy, but (SPOILER ALERT!) Voldemort marked Harry as his equal. That’s privileged information if you never finished the series. Sorry if I ruined your life, but it’s been out for a while.

The Order of the Phoenix is where bits and pieces from the earlier installments start to fall in place. You can start deducing where Harry and the story are going. You start to think that maybe Harry really is the Chosen One. There are many subplots and foreshadowing and Easter eggs. This book is where the series really takes off. There might be a lot of superfluous material, but when it comes to Potter, there’s no such thing as too much.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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February 25, 2012 · 9:14 am

Kill Bill Volume 1

Quentin Tarantino’s 4th film is his first action film, and it is pure exhilaration from beginning to end. Most two-part movies are all story in the first half, and all action in the second half. Kill Bill is the opposite, the second part has all the story and exposition, and the first volume is non-stop action.

Uma Thurman is a viable action star. She is unconventional but tough. She fights ruthlessly, but also with honor. All we know is that she lost her baby and is on a quest for revenge. We don’t even know her character’s name. In this volume, the character that has the most back-story is Lucy Liu’s O-Ren Ishii. One of the best and most surprising parts of the movie was her japanimated backstory.

Volume 1 has an amazing soundtrack. RZA from the Wu-Tang Clan produces, and both him and Tarantino have a great appreciation for Kung Fu movies, and so their soundtrack works well with the movie. Tarantino has a great ear for music, and it often seems as if the scenes are tailored to fit the soundtrack.

There are some great scenes in this flick, even though it is a bit lighter on the dialog that Tarantino is known for. The Bride vs. the Crazy 88 is one of the best fight sequences in all cinema.  It is a truly epic fight, as she faces off against dozens of ruthless Yakuza, slaughtering all who oppose her.

This was Tarantino’s first movie since Jackie Brown, and his passion for Kung Fu movies is apparent. He is a great director, he absorbs things and recreates them as his own. He combines and warps different genres together to complete one cohesive film. This is a great movie, but only half of the Kill Bill experience. You haven’t even met Bill at this point.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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February 24, 2012 · 8:58 am

American Splendor (film)

I’ve noticed that whenever critics compile their lists of best comic to film translations they always neglect American Splendor. X-Men, Superman, Batman, Spider-man… these are all well known comic icons who successfully made the transition to the big screen. Harvey Pekar’s highly personal autobiographical cult comics don’t have the mainstream built-in audience that DC and Marvel characters have.  That doesn’t change the fact that this movie is one of the best comic translations ever.

Harvey Pekar wrote about himself and his life, and you relate to him because he is real. Different artists drew his stories, and drew him because he was the main character. Different people depicted him in many different ways throughout his comics. The film captures that by having multiple actors and illustrations, as well as the real life counterparts playing themselves. The overall effect seems like it would be jarring and confusing, but it works extremely well and captures the feel of the comics. You don’t even need to have read them, because the art and stories are all interwoven through the whole film. By the end you know his type of humor and appreciate his art. You might even buy one of his books.

Paul Giamatti stars as Harvey Pekar, but Pekar also makes appearances as himself. His wife and friends also make appearances as well as have actors portraying them. Harvey deals with his mundane and often depressing life in a humorous way. His comics deal with everything from choosing which line to wait in at the grocery store to experiencing painful chemotherapy treatments.

It is a great experience. It is funny, heartfelt and real. Harvey Pekar lived an incredibly fascinating, incredibly ordinary life. And it was a privilege to experience a glimpse of it. Take the time and check out this movie if you haven’t yet.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 23, 2012 · 9:05 am

127 Hours

Danny Boyle directs and James Franco stars in this true story about a hiker who gets trapped and has to cut off his own arm. Franco plays Aron Ralston, an avid outdoorsman who thinks he is the shit, before nature teaches him a lesson he’ll never forget. Because he lost his arm. That’ll teach him.

It is a very unique movie. It starts out like an action film. It is very fast paced, lots of cool cuts and camera shots. Aron is full of life, he hustles around. He packs quickly, drives quickly, bikes quickly and hikes quickly. He meets two girls, and shows them around a bit, and leaves them just as abruptly as he met them. He hops around, he is mobile, he can’t stay still or in one spot for too long.

And suddenly he slips and a giant boulder pins his arm, and he is trapped in a narrow, isolated canyon. It happens instantly, and it slowly dawns on him that he can’t move. Franco demonstrates his acting chops, and as he struggles in vain to pull himself free, screaming out, “THIS IS INSANE!” You feel as though you are trapped too. You feel his panic, you feel his pain, his predicament.

Aron gradually calms down a bit and tries to logically handle his situation. He sees what tools and equipment he has. He rations his water. He tries a few techniques to move the boulder, but ultimately there is only one way to escape. First he breaks his arm. Then using a dull pocket knife (according to IMDB it was not a Leatherman), he has to cut through his flesh, nerves, ligaments, and arteries. It is a very graphic and detailed scene, and if you’re squeamish, this might not be a fun part for you.

The majority of the movie he is stuck in one spot. But through flashbacks and hallucinations we leave the canyon, so it’s not as confining as other movies like Phone Booth. Aron begins to discover who he is. He realizes how flawed he is, and how many regrets he has. Like not answering the phone when his sister calls, or telling his mom how much she means to him. But he really regrets not telling anyone where he was going, because he thought he was Superman and could do anything. He thought he could tame Nature, but instead he had to hack off his own arm. If I had a nickel….

The movie gets a bit surreal at times with the flashbacks, but it still is rooted in reality. You feel for Aron and experience everything that he does. Throughout the movie he speaks to his video camera and it becomes a journal of sorts. The real Aron Ralston had a video camera with him in the canyon, and he shared the footage with Danny Boyle and James Franco. I’m sure that was an extremely valuable tool, because you see Aron’s breakdown and it feels real, because it was real. Whole parts of his mental decline are just reenactments of a real person losing control. It is as close to becoming insane as I ever want to be.

This is a great film. It inspires you to go out and experience nature (just make sure you tell people where you are going). It makes you want to call your mom and have a heart to heart. It makes you glad you didn’t have to cut off your arm.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 22, 2012 · 8:51 am

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (film)

Harry Potter’s fourth film translation got a new director: a very British and a very boring Mike Newell. This film has its moments but only because the book was filled with great moments. It was a step backwards for the franchise; it pales in comparison to what Alfonso Cuarón did with the third film.

Prior to filming, there was a lot of discussion into splitting the film into two parts because the book was so lengthy. Instead they decided to cut out most of the side plots and minor characters and focus primarily on Harry. By doing this, the film feels very rushed, and you get jerked around from place to place. It gives the movie an awkward flow. The Dursleys are noticeably absent from the beginning, instead we jump to Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys meeting up with Amos and Cedric “Twilight” Diggory and they all go to the Quidditch World Cup. They build up the excitement and introduce all the Quidditch players and then skip right over the game. You don’t see a second of actual Quidditch. I remember thinking that the projector must have made a mistake or they were missing a reel or something.

The whole movie goes on like that. They constantly cut over and skip significant things. And then they have the audacity to add characters like Nigel, and they even give Nigel lines! And they add whole scenes like the kids learning to dance. Why waste precious running time on stuff that isn’t even in the book? There is only one scene with Sirius Black. There is no Winky, Dobby, or Bagman.

Daniel Radcliffe is maturing more as an actor, but this film didn’t give him as much to work with as Prisoner of Azkaban. It is less character driven. Harry’s haircut is the worst out of all the films. It’s one of the worst movie haircuts of all time, up there with Tom Hanks in the DaVinci Code. Emma Watson stands out in the Yule Ball scene, and Rupert Grint’s best scenes were when he was fighting with Harry, and later making up.

The acting from everyone else was decent, Brendan Gleeson does a good job as Mad-Eye. Michael Gambon made a huge mistake as Dumbledore: he would never grab Harry violently like he did when he thought he submitted his name to the Goblet of Fire. David Tennant plays Barty Crouch, Jr. He added an annoying little tongue flick, something that Gleeson copied, and that shows that fake Moody and Crouch are the same person. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the audience. Inserting Barty Crouch, Jr. into the opening scene with Voldemort and Pettigrew is another big “FUCK YOU.” Please Hollywood, treat us with some respect.

It is always good seeing Potter on the big screen. There are some really cool sequences in the movie. The first task with the dragon was really dynamic and action packed. It might be the best Harry vs. Magical Creature moment in all the films. It was good to see Moaning Myrtle again, creepy as she is. The second task underwater was eerie and memorable. The climax at the graveyard redeems the entire movie. First off they kill Twilight, and I love anyone who kills Twilight. And Voldemort comes back and gathers his army and him and Harry have a sweet light saber battle. I mean wizard duel. Yeah, that part was cool.

All in all the movie is entertaining and you have to see it if you’re watching the Harry Potter saga, so you can’t really avoid it. It just leaves a lot out, and maybe splitting it into two parts wasn’t such a terrible idea. They cut out a lot of important things, and some of the things they included didn’t need to be there. It was a step in the wrong direction for the movies. It might be some people’s favorite film, but some people eat glue sticks.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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February 21, 2012 · 9:15 am

Back to the Future Part III

Marty and Doc are back for another adventure, and this time they are cowboys. Because why the hell not? This is a period piece like the first film, only Marty and Doc are in Hill Valley in 1885. Part II and III were shot back to back, so there is a strong sense of continuity between the two sequels.

A lot of people like this movie. I think they just like seeing Little Marty dressed up like a Little Cowboy. It is the weakest installment of the trilogy. For a movie series involving a time machine, and all the ideas introduced in the second part, it is a real let down to have them be in the old west. They could have done anything or gone anywhere, and it’s pretty lame to have them be cowboys for the whole movie.

ZZ Top makes an appearance as the band at the clock tower festival. The only guy in ZZ Top with out a beard is named Frank Beard. That’s your fun fact for the day.

It is kind of weird how Doc mentions multiple times how he wished he never invented the time machine because it causes nothing but trouble. But then he goes ahead and invents a flying train time machine and takes his wife  (that he shouldn’t have ever met or married) and his two creepy kids with him as he goes back and fourth through time and space, probably causing all sorts of alternate timelines and parallel universes. I guess his character doesn’t really grow or develop.

The first film is classic. The second was a fun and interesting look at time travel, bringing up ideas of paradoxes and alternate timelines. And the third is a let down. It has its moments, but the story is a let down. The first one is more than a period film because Marty gets to interact with his parents when they are teenagers. That is a great concept. The third one is a dumb period piece. The people of 1885 have no impact on his life in 1985. Sure Marty gets to hold his great-grandfather and meets his Irish ancestors, but that doesn’t compare to the weird love triangle between his parents and him in the first film.

This film has its moments. But most memorable things are just an homage or references to the first two films, like seeing the clock tower being built, or seeing relatives to Hill Valley citizens that we’ve met in the first two movies. Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen is a great version of Biff, a dumb bully with a gun. Clara Clayton was unnecessary character. Good for Doc for getting some loving, but her character is annoying and not well thought out.

It is a decent movie, but the first two were superior. Time travelling sequels should be about time travelling and not about being cowboys.

Critically Rated at  10/17

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February 20, 2012 · 11:41 am

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (book)

J.K. Rowling’s fourth entry into the Harry Potter world is a turning point for the series. The book’s length is almost double that of Prisoner of Azkaban. They are no longer children’s books, now they are novels. It is more adult and much darker than previous entries.

J.K. expands the wizarding world in a lot of ways. The Quidditch World Cup is a huge event, drawing witches and wizards from all over the world. She introduces new wizard schools like Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. The Ministry of Magic plays a bigger role, foreshadowing events to come in the Order of the Phoenix. J.K. Rowling starts to explore the political side of the wizarding world, showcasing how the accused Death Eaters were put on trial, and comments about how Fudge is afraid to lose power and control.

Harry and his friends are now teenagers and their hormones are raging. They start to notice to opposite sex. Harry has his first crush, Hermione has her first boyfriend, and Ron gets jealous. Ron and Harry also have a huge argument and spend a significant part of the story being mad at each other. There are a few new notable characters like the snooping reporter Rita Skeeter, the star Quidditch player Victor Krum, Barty Crouch, Sr. and Jr. and perhaps most importantly Mad-Eye Moody.

A lot of the book tackles subject matters that aren’t suitable for kids. People die in this book, innocent muggles like Frank Bryce, Ministry members like Barty Crouch, Sr. and even Hogwarts students like Cedric Diggory. Voldemort comes back, and there is a fierce dual between him and Harry.

Harry is mysteriously entered into the Triwizard Tournament, and he stumbles through the tasks with a lot of help and a lot of luck, but not much skill. Harry’s biggest turning point in the entire series takes place in the graveyard after the third task. “Harry crouched behind the headstone and knew the end had come. There was no hope… no help to be had. And as he heard Voldemort draw nearer still, he knew one thing only, and it was beyond fear or reason: He was not going to die crouching here like a child playing hide-and-seek; he was not going to die kneeling at Voldemort’s feet… he was going to die upright like his father, and he was going to die trying to defend himself, even if no defense was possible….” This is the moment where Harry steps up, where he accepts that he can’t control his fate but he can control how he handles it.

This book was a huge step forward in the saga. The story didn’t just darken, it also became more complex. There are more story arcs and subplots that only become relevant later on. There are subtle lines like, “For a fleeting instant, Harry thought he saw a glimpse of something like triumph in Dumbledore’s eyes” that will eventually get explained in the final few books. And Voldemort finally comes back, and the threat is now real. J.K. Rowling took Potter to the next level, and the phenomenon became justified.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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February 19, 2012 · 9:02 am

Back to the Future Part II

This is the best time travelling movie sequel of all time. Marty and Doc pick up right where the first movie ended, rushing to the future with Jennifer in tow to prevent a catastrophe from happening. They end up in Hill Valley in 2015 (30 years from 1985, as opposed to 30 years in the past), and Marty sees what his life with Jennifer becomes (hint: less than ideal).

They prevent one disaster involving Marty’s son, but Future Biff causes a different disaster that changes history and creates a hellish, alternate 1985. The only solution to fixing the present because of something that happened in the future is to go back to the past, and that’s exactly what they do.  Doc and Marty go back to 1955 again, and they revisit the events of the first movie, but just from a different point of view. The two Martys and the two Docs must not cross each other’s paths or it could destroy the universe. It was and still is very surreal and ahead of its time. What a great and novel concept: in a sequel to a movie about time travel, they not only go to the future, but they also go back to the first movie and play with concepts like alternate timelines and the tricky nature of the implications of time travel. We see four different versions of Hill Valley: 1985, 2015, Alternate 1985 and 1955. Each timeline effects the citizens and buildings of Hill Valley in different ways.

The future scenes are great. Hoverboards. Enough said. But there are also references to Slamball (which later became an awesome sport) and a baseball team in Miami. I know that the world won’t end in 2012 because Marty McFly went to 2015.

This is a fun movie, and a smart movie. It is one of the few sequels that lives up to its previous installment. The Back to the Future trilogy is a great trilogy and this is a great second act. The first and third movies are period pieces, commenting on a modern person living in 1955 and 1885, but this movie plays with the concept of time travel and it’s ramifications. In a trilogy that pretends to be about time travel, this is the only one that is really about time travel.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 18, 2012 · 9:59 am

Back to the Future

Da duh duhhhhhhhh, da-duh da-duh da-duhhhhh. If you just say that you can’t help but turn it into the Back to the Future theme. It’s epic beyond anything Steve Perry and Journey ever did together. This is a classic movie. Robert Zemeckis directs, Spielberg produces and Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Emmett Brown and the much beloved Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly. Seriously, how can anyone hate Michael J. Fox? He is just so little and shaky, like a tiny epileptic puppy that you want to take home.  Believe me, I know I’m going to Hell, but at least Gandhi will keep me company.

At first this is a sci-fi flick. Marty meets up with a crazy scientist to test out his latest invention: a time travelling DeLorean. Everyone knows that once the Flux Capacitor hits 88 mph, you get blasted through time to whatever destination you programmed. When it comes to time travelling in style you either go with the DeLorean or a telephone booth, it depends on how stoned you are. Once Marty travels back to 1955, it transitions into being a period piece about the 1950’s.

It is a cool premise: what if you went back in time and saw what your parents were like as teenagers? It is universal, and that is why the film holds up so well. Marty gets in the way of his parents meeting, his mom ends up having a crush on him. Marty needs to set the timeline straight by getting his nerdy father to hook up with his slutty mom before his slutty mom rapes Marty. Throw in a bully named Biff and you have a tale that’s as old as time.

Great story, great characters, great actors, great lines, great soundtrack… Great movie. You’ve seen it, you love it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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February 17, 2012 · 8:56 am

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (film)

Alfonso Cuarón directs the third movie in the franchise, taking over for Chris Columbus. The movie is much darker from the get-go, the Warner Bros. logo and opening titles are dark and gray, and we know that the Potter films are only going to get better.

Harry, Ron and Hermione are no longer kids, now they are teenagers. Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson are much more natural on screen in this one. The first two movies they were performing, now they are acting. Believe me, there is a difference. They know their characters now, and this screenplay gives them more material to work with. This movie is more character driven than the first two.

The adult cast continued to improve as well. Gary Oldman joined the cast as Sirius Black, Emma Thompson plays Trelawney, Michael Gambon takes over as Dumbledore, Timothy Spall is great as Peter Pettigrew, and David Thewlis plays Lupin. Not enough can be said about Alan Rickman as Snape, he can always be relied on to kick ass with just a few lines. Snape has a great moment where he instinctively protects Harry, Ron and Hermione from werewolf Lupin, it is insight to his true self.

The first two movies were great for laying out the foundation, but now a more accomplished director is able to build up the franchise.  Cuarón makes the word feel more natural and lived in. The students are still in robes, but they are disheveled and more casually strewn together. The wands are now much more unique and individualized, and they remain so for the rest of the films.  Hogwarts seems explorable and livable. The camera is much more dynamic. It sweeps around, it follows characters, and it gets hit with snow and rain. It feels like another character. This movie was a make or break point for the franchise; a bad director could have ruined everything. Cuarón improved upon everything Columbus did. I don’t have the facts to back this up, but I feel this movie got more people to read the books than any of the other films.

I wasn’t a fan of the time traveling aspect in the book. I feel it is a cheap to have time travel in a saga about magic, and I think J.K. Rowling realized the same and so time travel was never a plot device after Prisoner of Azkaban. That being said, I really enjoyed the time traveling aspect in the movie. They did it right.  Throughout the movie Hermione pops up suddenly, and later Harry gets hit by a rock, Hermione sees something strange, they are saved by mysterious howling, and Harry sees what looks like his father casting a patronus charm. Then later, they go back in time and you find out how Hermione was popping up suddenly, they find out that they threw the rock, that Hermione almost saw herself, that they were the ones howling and that Harry saw himself cast the patronus. And he even goes so far as to explain that he knew he could cast it this time, because he had already done it before.

A great movie, easily one of the best in the series. It is no longer a kid’s movie. Alfonso Cuarón is a great director and this film is proof. It is a part of a greater whole, but he made it very personal and very unique without ruining anything previously established. It sets up some story arcs for future installments, but it also stands out as its own film.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 15, 2012 · 10:16 am

House M.D.

Rather than write a review I will just write the average episode outline.

We begin outside the hospital. This week’s guest star is doing something really cool or really mundane. And then they start spitting blood, or maybe they faint, or possibly start speaking in gibberish while shitting themselves. And then we go to the opening credits.

Now we are in the hospital and House is insulting his team and berating them for no particular reason. Then someone brings up a case and House doesn’t care, then they mention a weird symptom, and then he does care.

Meanwhile someone on House’s team, or maybe Wilson does something to annoy House. Maybe they have a prank war, or a bet going, or have a personal issue that House needs to exploit. This is this week’s subplot.

The patient is getting better. Then they get a new symptom. Maybe their vision goes blurry, but usually they start pissing blood. Sometimes they get blisters or a rash. All it means is that they were wrong the first time and now we need to start antibiotics or steroids. They are getting better and it looks like things will be wrapped up earlier than usual.

Meanwhile in the subplot, something funny or zany happens, or maybe someone is super pissed off or two team members start bonding. We have to make these characters likeable, watchable, and relatable, because most doctors are lame but this is FOX and they can’t be mundane.

The patient was responding to treatment, but now another symptom pops up. What hasn’t happened yet? Um, they lose hair or their toes are turning black. If the team hasn’t suggested Lupus yet, they will suggest it now. Either way, they start another treatment, maybe a total blood transfusion or leeches.

We go back to the subplot, and it is getting resolved somehow. Maybe House is telling Wilson something about how Wilson can’t win the prank war because he is “too lame.” And saying “too lame” will make House realize that something about the patient’s heart is “too lame,” and now he knows what is wrong and how to treat the patient. The patient is saved in the knick of time, wakes up and spouts some profound words of wisdom, maybe has a little moment with House, and that’s the show folks.

Imagine 8 seasons of that, with occasional episodes that stray against the formula and you have a cool medical show. Hugh Laurie is amazing as House. He is a great character, basically a medical Sherlock Holmes with an attitude. He is a dick, but he’s a genius so he gets away with shit. It’s a pretty solid show, and 8 seasons is an accomplishment. Check it out if you haven’t.

Critically Rated at 13/17

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February 15, 2012 · 10:15 am

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (book)

The third installment of Harry Potter finds the young wizard and his pals back at Hogwarts for another magical year. New teachers like Professor Lupin and Trelawney provide Harry with insight to his past (and future). A shadowy character from James and Lily’s past escapes from Azkaban prison, and rumor is he is looking for Harry.

This book is longer and darker than the previous two books. It is on the cusp of no longer being a children’s book. Voldemort is notably absent. In fact, there is no real antagonist in this story. We are lead to believe that Sirius Black is the villain, but he turns out to be anything but. Another thing that sticks out is the use of time turners. Twist it a few times, and you go back in time a few hours. Hermione uses one throughout the year in order to go to all her classes, some of which overlap. Hermione and Harry use it at the end to rescue Buckbeak and save Sirius.

It is worth nothing that Sirius Black is the Prisoner of Azkaban, so the book is essentially called Harry Potter and Sirius Black. Harry finds a father figure in him, and Lupin to a lesser degree as well. Lupin is a great teacher. He brings out the best in Harry and teaches him advanced magic. Harry is starting to become powerful. In the first two books, he relied on luck and help from his friends. Now he is capable of producing a patronus charm to take on dozens of dementors at once.

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were best friends when they were students at Hogwarts. They invented the Marauder’s Map, and Harry uses it throughout the book and through the rest of the series. Sirius Black seems to be a threat at first, and than you find out he is a good guy. Lupin was a good guy the whole time, but at the end he transforms into a werewolf, and he becomes a threat. It’s a cool role reversal. Trelawney seems to be a fraud, but then she makes an actual prediction and in later books we find out more about her past prophecies.

The names of the characters usually are clues to their true nature. Remus and Romulus were the two wolf cub brothers who founded Rome. Sirius is the dog star. Black is a reference to Rebecca Black and her dark magic corrupting the innocent.

This is a fun read, and it sets up even more story arcs that get resolved in later books. You start to see that J.K. Rowling had Potter all mapped out, and this book is when shit starts to get crazy.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 14, 2012 · 9:39 am

City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold

I’m not much of a Hollywood insider, but I have noticed that if a film does well financially it sometimes warrants a sequel. Some sequels are actually better than the original. And some sequels are totally unnecessary and cheapen the first film. If you are unsure which of those two categories City Slickers II falls under, just look at the second part of the title: “The Legend of Curly’s Gold.” Still not sure? It is an unnecessary sequel.

The premise is that (Mitch) Billy Crystal finds a treasure map in Curly’s old hat. Mitch, Phil (Daniel Stern), and Glen (Mitch’s brother, played by Jon Lovitz) decide to go in search of Curly’s gold. Oh yeah, and Curly had an identical twin brother named Duke, and Duke is just as tough as Curly. The only real difference between the two is that Curly was a cowboy and Duke was a Merchant Marine, and Duke’s name is Duke and not Curly.

So the four of them go on a treasure hunt, following the map and shit happens along the way. Eventually they find a cave, and in the cave they find a treasure chest. And in the treasure chest is gold! But then it turns out it was only fake gold, and they are sad for a minute, before they realized that even though the blatantly failed, they still succeeded in a way (even though they really failed). And then they all go home.

Just when you think that it’s the end to a shitty movie, Duke comes back to visit Mitch one more time. It turns out that Duke found the real gold, and he wants to share it now. Because he had a change of heart for some reason, because why not?

It is a tolerable movie, but it definitely cheapens the original. There are a few funny moments, but the first one had more laughs, more heart, and was much better. Lame sequels are a Hollywood tradition.

Critically Rated at 8/17

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February 13, 2012 · 8:47 am

City Slickers

City Slickers is Billy Crystal’s best movie. It is the story of a guy who goes on a cattle drive with his two best friends in search of his smile in the middle of a midlife crisis. Bruno Kirby and Daniel Stern are great costars, and Jack Palance secured his legacy as a badass for a whole new generation. Pay attention to Billy Crystal’s son, played by little Jakey Gyllenhaal. Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, also makes an appearance as Phil’s young lover.

Lots of great moments as the title city slickers try to adjust to cowboy life and they embark on a paid vacation to experience a real life cattle drive. Shit gets real, and Billy Crystal must rise to the occasion and lead Norman and his fellow cows to their destination.

It is a heartwarming movie. Funny and true, something that you can watch with your family or your friends. I think you are legally obligated to watch this if you stumble upon it when channel surfing.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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February 12, 2012 · 8:55 am

The Lottery Changed My Life

TLC’s best reality show is about people who won the lottery. It makes you stop thinking, “What if I won the lotto” and start thinking, “When I win the lotto.” It is a very dangerous show to watch, you will just assume that you are next. It shows the two types of winners: the ones who spend the money wisely, and the ones who blow through it like Whitney Houston at the crack house (what? Too soon?).  It is a cool show that shows you the pros and cons of winning the lottery, while simultaneously subliminally selling you the idea that you will win the jackpot.

Critically Rated at 11/17

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