Tag Archives: bill

Getting a Check Instead of a Bill

I had to get a root canal a few months ago and my insurance only covered part of the bill, I had to pay the rest out of pocket. I can’t remember how much I had to pay, but it was around four hundred bucks. It wasn’t that bad, but it still put a little dent in my bank account. Life went on. Then I came home to a piece of mail from the endodontist (the guy that does root canals). My heart sank. I thought it was another bill. I sat down and mentally prepared myself for it. I took a breath, ripped open the envelope, and was beyond relieved to see that it wasn’t a bill. It was a check. To me. For seventeen dollars and ten cents. Getting a check instead of a bill is a great feeling. I went from being in debt to being seventeen dollars and ten cents richer in a matter of moments. I don’t know what I will spend my newfound wealth on, but I’m pretty sure it will involve alcohol or food. Hopefully both.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed

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Split Checks

Want to piss off your server? Tell him that you want split checks after he drops off your bill. I realize that split checks are sometimes necessary, but you should tell the server before he starts to take your order if you know that you’re going to need split checks. That saves him time and that saves you time. It’s not your server’s responsibility to ask if you’re going to want split checks. Most customers take offense to that. It implies that they are rude, cheap, or both. If you’re sitting together, that means that you’re one party. One party gets one check. Most restaurants can split payments, and that’s a lot easier than splitting checks. You should bring cash or a card, keep track of what you ordered, and pay accordingly if you’re going to eat with a group. Give the right amount of cash to whoever is handing the bill. If you have a card, tell the server how much to run it for. Be simple and make it easy as possible for your server. Don’t be a difficult guest. And don’t forget to tip.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forgetting the Stamp

I know it’s a rarity to send anything by mail these days, but it still happens. Because it happens less and less, we have forgotten many simple aspects of sending something by snail mail. Like writing down the desired address correctly, or putting down the return address, or (most importantly) not forgetting the stamp.

If you forget the stamp, your letter or package or gas bill isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. And if you also forget the return address it ends up in the Land of Missing Socks. That sucker is gone forever. And it’s your fault for forgetting the stamp.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Bills Aren’t Optional

So my roommate is one of my best friends since high school. I’ve known him for more than ten years and have lived with him for five years. He’s the same age as me, give or take a few months. We grew up in the same town, in the same time, with the same people. And somehow he never learned that bills aren’t optional. When the cable company sends you a bill, you have to pay that shit if you want to keep watching TV. That’s how it works. If you want to have a roof over your head, you need to pay fucking rent. I don’t make the rules. But I follow them. Because I like having a roof over my head and I like watching TV.

Critically Rated at 8/17

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Kill Bill Volume 2

The Bride is back and she only has three more names on her list. We finally get to meet Bill and see his face for the first time. And not to spoil anything, but she kills Bill. Volume 1 was all action, but now we get to the story. We learn more about the Bride and we get more back-story and character development.  We finally find out the Bride’s real name and suddenly all those cryptic references to Trix and being affectionately called Kiddo makes sense.

The first Kill Bill was an action flick. Volume 2 is mostly exposition and story. There is a very savage fight between the Bride and Elle Driver, they beat the crap out of each other and destroy Budd’s trailer in the process. Daryl Hannah’s reaction to losing her eye is classic. She freaks out, loses all control, and starts flailing and trashing about. It is very realistic and very unsettling.

The most memorable and disturbing scene is when the Bride is caught by Budd and buried alive. If you watch the widescreen version, prior to being nailed into the coffin, the screen is cropped and full frame. Not only does it foreshadow what is to come, but it makes you feel trapped and claustrophobic. When the Bride is put in the coffin, the screen goes dark and the sounds get heightened. You hear each nail being pounded into place, you hear the coffin dragging along the ground and being tossed into the shallow grave, and as the shovelfuls of dirt fall on top of the casket and the Bride’s breathing becomes shallower and quicker, you feel like you are right there with her, being buried alive. It was a relief when she delves into her flashback and you can escape the confines of the pine box.

Her flashback to training with Pai Mei is a fun sequence. It is a good training montage. It provides a little humor and action with learning more about where the Bride is coming from. There is a lot more Tarantino dialog in this movie compared to the previous installment. The Bride has a great conversation with one of Bill’s father figures, Esteban, in Mexico. Budd has a nice moment with his brother. Everything Bill says is important and awesome and terrifying. His first conversation with the Bride right before the wedding massacre shows how loving and dangerous he is. His final great monolog is about Superman and Clark Kent, and even though it is brief, it sums up the themes of the Kill Bill saga.

In the first volume, the Bride kills dozens and dozens of people. She does it skillfully and violently, and with a lot of style. In this volume, she only kills Bill, and she does it quickly and simply, without any real fanfare or build up. Budd almost killed her, but failed. Elle Driver kills Budd with a black mamba. The Bride gets the better of Elle, and leaves her blinded and trapped with the black mamba, but she doesn’t kill her. It is almost the exact opposite of the first movie, but they fit together, they are both sides of the same coin. Volume 1 was a great action movie, but Volume 2 is a complete film and makes the first one even better.

Critically Rated at 16/17

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