Tag Archives: michael j. fox

Teen Wolf (film)

Rod Daniel directs Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf. Michael J. Fox plays Scott Howard, an average teenager who wishes he wasn’t so average. And then he finds out he’s a werewolf. It’s a coming of age story and it’s also a werewolf comedy. People did a lot of cocaine in the ‘80s.

Scott plays for his shitty high school basketball team. He likes a girl named Pamela, but she’s dating a jerk/jock/bully named Mick. He doesn’t notice that his friend Boof has a crush on him. Boof is a stupid name. I hate it. Scott also has a party animal friend named Stiles.

Scott starts to notice changes. Not your standard puberty stuff, but sometimes he grows claws or gets pointy ears or suddenly has fur. It turns out that he’s a werewolf. This movie is different from most werewolf movies because his condition is genetic. He wasn’t bitten by a werewolf, he was always had werewolf genes thanks to his werewolf father. Werewolves aren’t uncontrollable monsters. They are just furry people who are good at basketball for some reason.

Scott uses his werewolfism to win games and become more popular. And you better believe there are multiple montages showcasing how awesome being a teen wolf is. He even gets laid by his dream girl, but she turns out to be a bitch.

Scott eventually realizes that there’s a downside to being a werewolf, and he’s not sure how to handle his popularity. He loses sight of who he is for a while, but eventually decides he needs to tame the wolf. So he plays the championship game as his regular human self (his tiny human self). And somehow the team wins. Because it’s Hollywood and little white people are amazing at basketball. And he finds happiness and love with Boof, the girl who loved him all along.

I think the message of the movie is clear: ignore what makes you special and unique and act like everyone else and you will be happy.

Mark Holton plays Chubby, one of the teammates on the basketball team. Here is a well-developed character. His name is Chubby and he is chubby. His locker is filled with food and snacks, because fat people stash food everywhere. He even plays in a game while eating an apple. Anyone who thinks Hollywood has shoddy writers needs to study Chubby’s character arc.

Teen Wolf is not the best werewolf movie. It doesn’t try to be. It doesn’t take itself seriously. I don’t know how or why it was made, but people did a lot of cocaine in the ‘80s. I’ve seen this movie a pretty decent amount of times. It’s on TV a lot. If you see it, check it out.

Critically Rated at 12/17

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Back to the Future Part III

Marty and Doc are back for another adventure, and this time they are cowboys. Because why the hell not? This is a period piece like the first film, only Marty and Doc are in Hill Valley in 1885. Part II and III were shot back to back, so there is a strong sense of continuity between the two sequels.

A lot of people like this movie. I think they just like seeing Little Marty dressed up like a Little Cowboy. It is the weakest installment of the trilogy. For a movie series involving a time machine, and all the ideas introduced in the second part, it is a real let down to have them be in the old west. They could have done anything or gone anywhere, and it’s pretty lame to have them be cowboys for the whole movie.

ZZ Top makes an appearance as the band at the clock tower festival. The only guy in ZZ Top with out a beard is named Frank Beard. That’s your fun fact for the day.

It is kind of weird how Doc mentions multiple times how he wished he never invented the time machine because it causes nothing but trouble. But then he goes ahead and invents a flying train time machine and takes his wife  (that he shouldn’t have ever met or married) and his two creepy kids with him as he goes back and fourth through time and space, probably causing all sorts of alternate timelines and parallel universes. I guess his character doesn’t really grow or develop.

The first film is classic. The second was a fun and interesting look at time travel, bringing up ideas of paradoxes and alternate timelines. And the third is a let down. It has its moments, but the story is a let down. The first one is more than a period film because Marty gets to interact with his parents when they are teenagers. That is a great concept. The third one is a dumb period piece. The people of 1885 have no impact on his life in 1985. Sure Marty gets to hold his great-grandfather and meets his Irish ancestors, but that doesn’t compare to the weird love triangle between his parents and him in the first film.

This film has its moments. But most memorable things are just an homage or references to the first two films, like seeing the clock tower being built, or seeing relatives to Hill Valley citizens that we’ve met in the first two movies. Buford “Mad Dog” Tannen is a great version of Biff, a dumb bully with a gun. Clara Clayton was unnecessary character. Good for Doc for getting some loving, but her character is annoying and not well thought out.

It is a decent movie, but the first two were superior. Time travelling sequels should be about time travelling and not about being cowboys.

Critically Rated at  10/17

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Back to the Future

Da duh duhhhhhhhh, da-duh da-duh da-duhhhhh. If you just say that you can’t help but turn it into the Back to the Future theme. It’s epic beyond anything Steve Perry and Journey ever did together. This is a classic movie. Robert Zemeckis directs, Spielberg produces and Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Emmett Brown and the much beloved Michael J. Fox plays Marty McFly. Seriously, how can anyone hate Michael J. Fox? He is just so little and shaky, like a tiny epileptic puppy that you want to take home.  Believe me, I know I’m going to Hell, but at least Gandhi will keep me company.

At first this is a sci-fi flick. Marty meets up with a crazy scientist to test out his latest invention: a time travelling DeLorean. Everyone knows that once the Flux Capacitor hits 88 mph, you get blasted through time to whatever destination you programmed. When it comes to time travelling in style you either go with the DeLorean or a telephone booth, it depends on how stoned you are. Once Marty travels back to 1955, it transitions into being a period piece about the 1950’s.

It is a cool premise: what if you went back in time and saw what your parents were like as teenagers? It is universal, and that is why the film holds up so well. Marty gets in the way of his parents meeting, his mom ends up having a crush on him. Marty needs to set the timeline straight by getting his nerdy father to hook up with his slutty mom before his slutty mom rapes Marty. Throw in a bully named Biff and you have a tale that’s as old as time.

Great story, great characters, great actors, great lines, great soundtrack… Great movie. You’ve seen it, you love it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

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