Have you ever had the displeasure of listening to someone eat when you’re not eating? It’s a form of torture. You’re in a quiet room with one other person and all you can hear is them eating. It’s subtle at first, but the constant lip smacking, soft grunts, and heavy nasal breathing are getting louder and louder and more and more disgusting. He sounds like a troll as he sinks he teeth into his sandwich and the sickening sounds of sloppy mastication makes you get up and leave the room. You know he’s not trying to be rude, but he’s making you lose your appetite as he satisfies his. And you would be totally justified in stabbing him in the throat with a fork. Listening to someone eat is like hearing your parents have sex. You know that it happens, you just don’t want to be there when it does.
Critically Rated at 6/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young