Tag Archives: soup

Dropping Your Spoon into Your Soup

I was kind of hungry earlier and didn’t feel like cooking. I ended up throwing a can of soup into a pot on the stove. It only took five minutes to heat up with an occasional stir now and then to keep it from overheating. When it was done, I ladled into a bowl and took it into my room so I could eat and watch shit on YouTube at the same time. Things were going great until I got distracted by on YouTube video and ended up dropping my spoon into my soup. I watched in horror and it sunk to the bottom of the bowl. I was kind of stoned so it was a very delayed reaction. After ten seconds or so of surveying the situation, I very delicately reached into the bowl and retrieved my spoon. I let it drip and drain for a bit, then I took it to the kitchen sink and rinsed it off. Then I went back to eating my soup. I took my time and made sure not to drop my spoon into my soup again. Once was enough. I thought I was good at eating soup. I guess I’m not the soup connoisseur I thought I was. Dropping your spoon into your soup makes you feel like an amateur. I felt like less of a person. I still do. I’m going to invent a spoon with a wrist strap to prevent this from every happening again. I’m sure there’s a market for it.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cereal is a Soup

A lot of my stories start out like this but I was at the bar the other day, only this time I was having a serious discussion about the classification of cereal with my friend. I said that cereal is a soup. He disagreed. I rattled off a few of my points: it’s mostly liquid, it’s served in a bowl, and you generally eat it with a spoon. He said it can’t be a soup because it’s cold. Being the Simpsons fan that I am, I told him that gazpacho is a tomato soup served ice cold. I looked up cereal on Wikipedia and it defines cereal as a food made from processed grains, served either hot or cold, and generally eaten as the first meal of the day. I propose that cereal is a breakfast soup. I think that’s a logical conclusion.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Oyster Crackers

Oyster crackers are little saltine crackers. They are usually hexagonal in shape. What’s so great about little hexagonal-shaped saltine crackers? Well, because they are bomb in soup. Like so bomb. It’s hard to make something like chicken noodle soup on a cold day better, but throwing a handful of oyster crackers in there definitely makes it better. At first the oyster crackers retain their crunch, but as time goes on they start soak up the soup like a saltine sponge. I suppose you could use oyster crackers with other things. Maybe oysters or something. You could eat them plain as a snack, but that would be a boring snack. They go best with soup. The next time you’re getting cans of Campbell’s, grab some oyster crackers to go with it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Chicken Noodle Soup

It sucks being sick with a cold or flu. You have a fever, you have chills, maybe your nose is stuffed or runny. You just want to stay tucked in bed all day. You have to force yourself to drink hot tea, orange juice, and lots of fluids. The only good part of being sick is eating chicken noodle soup. It could be canned, it could be homemade, it doesn’t matter. You just want chicken noodle soup. It warms you up and makes you feel better if only for a moment. I feel bad for vegetarians with colds, because orange juice isn’t quite as satisfying.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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