Tag Archives: socks

Wearing Sandals with Socks On

I’ll be turning thirty in a month. My twenties will be over. I will be considered an old man by everyone that is still in high school. And I’ve already decided that I’ll start wearing sandals with socks on. I know that it’s a fashion faux pas, but I’ll be too old to give a fuck anymore. I won’t care about looking cool, I’ll only care about being comfortable. And wearing sandals with socks on seems mighty comfortable. That’s why so many dads and grandpas dress like that. I won’t start sporting a fanny pack until I’m in my forties, but I’ll use my thirties to start getting acquainted with the geezer style of dress. That begins with wearing sandals with socks on and grows from there. Trust me, if I could stay sockless and in my twenties forever I would, but now it’s time to grow up and rock Crocs with socks. I guess this is growing up.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Wet Socks

I was walking into work the other day and I got caught in a sudden downpour. I was only outside for a few minutes, but that was more than enough time to get drenched. I was completely soaked in a matter of moments. The rain seeped inside my shoes and my socks absorbed all the water like a smelly sponge. I actually had to wring them out before I started my shift. Damp jeans I can deal with. Wet socks are something I try to avoid. I would carry a spare set of socks with me on rainy days, but that seems a little excessive and kind of weird. I’ll just stick to wringing them out and popping them in the microwave to dry them out. By the way, don’t use the microwave after me.

Critically Rated at 3/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

wet socks

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Forgetting Socks

People forget shit all the time, but only girls forget socks. I’m not trying to be sexist here; I’m simply stating the facts. And the facts say forgetting socks is a chick problem. It seems like almost every single day one of my female coworkers will come to work, start to change into their uniform, and realize that they forgot socks. One time I was in the breakroom and a girl came in bitching that she forgot her socks. Another girl gave her an extra pair of socks from her bag. I asked that girl why she had an extra pair of socks. She said it was in case she forgot to bring socks. Girls forget about socks so often that they plan on forgetting them. I’m glad that I don’t have to worry about forgetting socks. It’s only an issue when I’m packing for a trip. I typically won’t forget socks, but I’ll always forget something else important.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A New Pair of Socks

You walk around all day and your feet suffer as a result. You can get expensive shoes or gel insoles, but sometimes a new pair of socks will make all the difference. Fresh new socks are like sticking your feet into a cloud. Your feet feel fluffy and free. New socks make you want to burn your old ones. But you don’t because your new socks will turn into old socks someday and the beauty of that realization makes you respect the old socks because they were once new socks. New socks are still better though.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Taking Your Shoes Off at the End of the Day

You spend most of your day with your feet confined in socks and stuffed into a shoe. Your feet are trapped and constricted the whole time you’re getting ready for work, going to work, working, coming home from work, and doing whatever it is that you have to do like errands, or meeting friends or family and hanging out. Taking your shoes off at the end of the day feels fantastic. It’s like a reward to yourself for all the hard work you did that day. You earned it. You untie one shoe and take it off and wiggle your toes and ball your feet. You untie the other shoe and take it off and ball your feet and wiggle your toes. You peel off your sweaty socks and massage your feet and discreetly dispose the toe jam. Your feet are free and so are you.

Critically Rated at 15/17

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