Tag Archives: dirty clothes

Getting a New Stain Right After You Did Laundry

You’ve been putting off doing laundry for a few weeks until you finally crack and drag your dirty clothes to the Laundromat. You spend a few hours and a few quarters cleaning your clothes, and you feel accomplished and proud when you finally finish. You decide to celebrate your laundry victory by wearing a warm, clean shirt straight from the dryer. You’ll be wearing that shirt for about ten minutes before you dribble coffee down the front. Getting a new stain right after you did laundry is inevitable. The universe always knows when you’ve done laundry, and the universe will try to rectify the situation by getting your clothes dirty again. The universe wants you to waste quarters.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Forgetting About Your Laundry

You finally have a day off and a chance to wash that heap of dirty clothes in the corner of your room. You separate the colors and collect all the stray socks scattered around your room and throw it all in the washing machine. You’re not going to sit by the washer for thirty minutes, so you start doing a bunch of random things to kill time. You’ll tidy up around the house, you’ll watch TV, and surf the net. Then you’ll glance at the time and suddenly remember your laundry in a panic. It’s not a big deal if you have your own washer and dryer, but if you’re a schlub like me, you have to book it up to the Laundromat before someone throws your shit on the ground. Luckily, most of the time I realize that I forgot about it within a few minutes. But I know people who left their clothes at the Laundromat overnight. And then they had to buy a whole new wardrobe because all their clothes mysteriously vanished. That’s why you shouldn’t make a habit of forgetting about your laundry.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Hamper

A hamper is a storage bin for your dirty clothes. It’s kind of like a trash can for your wardrobe. You just throw your shirts and socks and underwear in the hamper at the end of the day. After a few weeks it will be overflowing with dirty clothes and you’ll have to do laundry because you have nothing else to wear. You can’t be a functional adult without having a hamper. You can’t keep your used clothes in a heap on the floor or in a trash bag in your closet. Well you can, but you probably won’t get laid anytime soon. So go to the hamper store and buy a hamper if you don’t have a hamper. Then put your dirty clothes in it, then do the laundry when it’s full, and then repeat the process until you die.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Laundry Day

One downside of living in society is having to wear clothes all the time. So most people have a wardrobe. You can’t wear dirty clothes if you want people to accept you so you have to wash your shit every couple of weeks. Laundry day can be a chore and a hassle. Especially if you go to the Laundromat. You can either sit there and watch your clothes spin around for an hour or you can leave and hope that no one steals your shit. Neither option is very appealing.

The best thing about laundry day is that you can use it as an excuse, “I can’t do it that day, it’s my only day off and I need to do laundry.” It’s more practical that saying you have to go to the dentist and way more believable than claiming you have a bunch of errands to run.

Laundry day is a part of life, at least until you win the lotto and can afford a brand new outfit every day.

Critically Rated at 10/17

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