Tag Archives: cashier

My Good Deed at Jack in the Box

I work at a corporate restaurant and have dealt with a lot of shitty customers. I bite my tongue and turn the other cheek because I have to. The end result is that I hate cheap people who do scummy things to get free food. A few months ago I was at Jack in the Box and there was an irate customer in front of me yelling at the teenaged cashier. From what I gathered, the customer was really upset that the cashier asked him if he wanted only an Ultimate Cheeseburger or the entire meal. The customer was going off, calling the cashier all sorts of nasty things.

Then the customer fucked up and asked me a question: “Hey buddy, wouldn’t you be upset if you clearly ordered one thing and they kept on trying to get you to buy more things that you don’t want?”

Finally I had a chance to voice my opinion to a shitty customer without getting into any trouble. I looked that asshole dead in the eye and said “First off, I’m not your buddy. And no, I wouldn’t be upset that he’s asking if I want to upgrade to the meal. That’s his job. You seem like the type of person who would also complain if he didn’t offer you the meal. You’re cheap, you’re rude, and you’re wrong.”

The guy didn’t seem to like my answer very much and called me an asshole. I told him he was an angry person. He went back to yelling at the cashier before he stomped away without buying anything. I went up to the cashier to order. He thanked me for having his back and gave me a coupon for a Jumbo Jack. I told him that it was my pleasure. I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time. Who knew that good deeds could be so satisfying?

Critically Rated at 16/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Shopkeeper

There is a corner store a block from my house that has just about anything you can think of. They claim that if they don’t have it, you don’t need it. It’s pretty much true, so I go there almost every single day. I realized that the shopkeeper probably knows me better than anyone. He knows all my secrets because he knows what I buy. That’s a pretty dangerous power. He knows what kind of beer that I like. He knows what kind of food I like. He knows if my house is dirty. He knows if I have an ant invasion or a mouse in the house. He knows if I’m hanging out with friends that night or staying at home alone. And yet he never judges me (at least not to my face) so I will continue to shop there until I die or his store closes, whichever comes first. It’s important to be nice and polite to everyone, but especially towards your shopkeeper. You don’t want to piss him off. He has more dirt on you than you think.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Divider Stick

A divider stick is a piece of plastic that you find in grocery stores and convenience shops near the cashier. You put your groceries on the little conveyer belt and use the divider stick to create a temporary boundary around your stuff. It separates your items from everyone else’s inferior products. We use them because we are weird and oddly overly protective of things we haven’t bought yet. When the cashier starts to ring up the person if front of you, you should take his divider stick and give it to the person behind you. It’s polite and it’s etiquette and your mom wants you to do the right thing. You can also use the divider stick as a makeshift weapon in case of a robbery, but I wouldn’t recommend it because they aren’t very formidable.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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A Rude Cashier

There’s a little liquor store a few blocks from my house that’s located directly across the street from my laundromat. I go in there for beer, snacks, and lotto tickets. It’s slightly overpriced, but it’s convenient so I go there a lot. It’s a mom and pop place, privately owned and not at all fancy. But the guy that owns it is a dick. I hate when he’s running the register because he’s always playing games on his phone or laptop, and he’ll ignore me until he finishes his round. He won’t look up from his game or even bother to grunt a greeting. I go into his store a few times a week, I’ve spent thousands of dollars there over the past few years, and I know that he recognizes me because he doesn’t card me when I buy booze. But he still ignores me whenever I try to pay. This place is too convenient for me to stop going to it. So I came up with a new technique for dealing with him: I place my items on the counter and slowly count to thirty. If he hasn’t started ringing them up within thirty seconds, I will leave them on the counter and walk out. If he doesn’t want my business, he won’t get my business, and now he has to put my shit away. It might seem a little harsh, but I think it’s perfectly called for. Thirty seconds is a long time. The next time someone says hi to you, ignore them for thirty seconds before you suddenly acknowledge their existence, and notice how long and uncomfortable that silence is. Sometimes the only way to deal with a rude cashier is to be an asshole yourself.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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The Slowest Cashier

You run into the store for a bottle of water. You’re in kind of a rush, so you just want to grab the bottle, pay, and get out. But the universe has other plans. You grab a bottle and head to the cashier and are dismayed to see one cashier and five people waiting in line. Not only is there only one cashier, it’s the slowest cashier. Of all time. This guy doesn’t even seem familiar with a twenty-dollar bill. He can’t bag your purchases. He can’t run credit cards without calling his manager for assistance. You stand in line, you pout and sigh and check your phone every 5 seconds, but the line isn’t moving. I know that patience is a virtue, but this is malarkey.

Critically Rated at 4/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed By Brendan H. Young

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Incorrect Change

We’ve all been there before. It’s rush hour at the local convenience store. Your few items cost $7.84. You pay with a twenty. You get $2.16 in change and make it halfway home before you realize you’ve been shortchanged. You turn around and go back to the same cashier to logically explain your situation and get your money back. Only now he doesn’t recognize you. You’ve gone to the same store and dealt with the same people for more than a year. Yeah, you don’t know his name, but you know his face and you always acknowledge him. Isn’t that enough? Apparently not, now you have to take it up with the storeowner. They will nod and pretend to understand where you are coming from. Then they will side with their incompetent employee. Never mind the fact that you know what denomination you paid with, never mind the fact that they can review the surveillance tapes to verify what denomination you paid with… the customer is always wrong when payment is in dispute.

Critically Rated at 2/17

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