Category Archives: Drinks

Beer, soda, and other fun fluids you put in your mouth.

March 30, 2014 · 10:55 am

Stone Enjoy By 04.20.14 IPA

Stone Brewing Company presents Enjoy By 04.20.14 IPA. It’s a limited release Double IPA and it comes with specific instructions to drink it by April 20th, 2014. They don’t want you to save it or age it. It’s a fresh brew that needs to be consumed as quickly as possible. And trust me, you’ll want to buy a few bottles so you can enjoy it before it disappears forever. This is a great Double IPA. It pours a clear golden color with a small white head. The nose is mostly piney hops, but I get a little citrus and whiffs of sweet malts. The flavor profile is a balance between pine and citrus hops with a malty backbone. It’s kind of sweet, but there is something spicy going on that I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s very mellow and smooth to drink, but the 9.4% alcohol content will sneak up on you. This is my kind of beer: a limited batch IPA from a great brewery and lots of subtle references to marijuana subculture. It’s made by Stone, it’s described as being devastatingly dank, and you have to drink it by 4/20. Motherfucking 4/20! If you’re lucky enough to stumble upon it, jump on it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 29, 2014 · 5:23 am

Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear Lemonade with Strawberry

Jack Nicklaus Golden Bear Lemonade with Strawberry is a beverage from Arizona. It’s like an Arnold Palmer but with strawberry juice instead of iced tea, so there’s no caffeine. I really like caffeine, but this beverage has a lot of artificial sweeteners and high fructose corn syrup to get your energy levels up. It’s kind of sweet, it’s kind of sour, and I actually like it a lot. It tastes good but there’s no way this shit is healthy for you. I don’t know ho2 they got such a prominent athlete to market diabetes in a can. I would get it again, but I’m not as health-conscious as I should be. Now excuse me while I scarf down this Pixy Stick.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 27, 2014 · 10:18 am

Stochasticity Project Grapefruit Slam IPA

Stone Brewing Co. is responsible for the Stochasticity Project, a new experiment in craft brewing. Grapefruit Slam IPA is the first beer, and considering I’ve bought three 22-ounce bottles in the past week, I would say the experiment was a rousing success. Grapefruit Slam IPA is an American Double/Imperial IPA with grapefruit peel added. The grapefruit peel is quite apparent, both in the aroma and in the flavor of the beer. The nose has citrus and pine hops, with a little caramel and toasted malt to balance it out. I can taste a lot of citrus hops with some pine and resin, and there’s also a malty backbone but it’s mostly hoppy. It has a satisfying 8.2% ABV. The label art will grab your attention. It has blue grid background that seems like something out of The Matrix with bold white lettering. It’s always exciting trying a new beer. And Grapefruit Slam IPA has only been around since mid-February of this year, so it really is a new beer. Buy it and try it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 26, 2014 · 11:50 am

Apex Special IPA

Apex Special IPA in an Imperial India Pale Ale from Bear Republic Brewing Co. It’s not available year round so you should snag a bottle or a 6-pack if you come across it. It has a nice orangey gold color with a thick whitish head. The aroma has a lot of hops, as you would expect from a good IPA. I get a lot of citrus like orange, grapefruit, maybe even tangerine, but there’s also a little pine and resin too. It’s balanced with toasted and sugary malts. The taste is more balanced than the aroma would have you believe. Yeah, you get a lot of citrus and pine hops, but the toasted malt has a bigger presence than I thought it would. I also taste orange, grapefruit, melon… it’s definitely fruity, but there’s also pine, resin, and spice. It’s delicious. I could drink it all day. But it’s 8.95% alcohol so I probably shouldn’t. This is a very good IPA. I’m happy it’s in my belly.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 25, 2014 · 9:57 am

Racer 5 India Pale Ale

Racer 5 India Pale Ale is an IPA from Healdsburg, California’s Bear Republic Brewing Co. It’s one of their flagship brews along with Red Rocket Ale. It pours a golden orange color with a small white head. It has a nice hoppy aroma with traces of citrus, cedar, pine, and sweet malts. It tastes like you would expect. I get lots of citrus hops, grapefruit, orange, orange peel, some pine hops, and it’s balanced with toasty malt. It’s not as bitter as I thought it would be. The 7.5% alcohol content isn’t as high as I’d like it to be, but this is a solid IPA and worth trying. Me likey.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Youngbear-republic-racer-5-ipa

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March 22, 2014 · 10:03 am

San Andreas Malt Club

I like craft beers. My friends like craft beers. And we enjoy talking about the cool craft beers that we’ve found and tasted. One of my friend (let’s call him Joey) likes craft beers and discussing craft beers so much that he decided to start a craft beer club. The basic idea behind it was that a few of us would meet up once a month to share and drink some microbrews. We would sip a couple of beers to compare, talk about, and rate. It’s a way to get drunk and not feel like an alcoholic. We had our first meeting the other night. We all bought and brought some 22-ounce bottles and most of them were IPAs. We learned that we need to communicate some more, but it was a pretty awesome first meeting for the group. We came up with a pretty satisfactory name… we call ourselves the San Andreas Malt Club, and our slogan is that you can “Hop On It.” I like the name. It’s a pun about California and beer, and our slogan is another pun about beer. It seems to work for a beer club with people from California. It was a pretty awesome first meeting. I recommend that you start your own beer club. Just remember that the San Andreas Malt Club is already taken.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 20, 2014 · 11:39 am

Victoria’s Kitchen Almond Water Original

So apparently almondade is a drink, and Victoria’s Kitchen makes the original almondade. I had never heard of it before, so I was intrigued when I saw a bottle of Victoria’s Kitchen Almond Water Original. It’s all natural, vegan, and is dairy/gluten/GMO free. And it still manages to taste good. It’s almond water with vanilla and rose extracts, which sounds kind of weird but the flavors go together and mesh well. It has a slightly sweet and nutty taste from the almonds, and the vanilla makes it creamy and smooth, while the rose extract gives it a subtle floral boost. I can’t really describe the flavor. It’s like drinking the milk from a bowl of healthy cereal, but watered down. You have to try it for yourself. I think Victoria’s Kitchen Almond Water will be the next trendy drink for all the wannabe hipsters out there. Try it before it goes mainstream.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 18, 2014 · 12:57 pm

Coca-Cola Vanilla

Coca-Cola Vanilla is exactly what it sounds like. It’s Coca-Cola with Vanilla flavor added to it. Coca-Cola already has a little vanilla in it to begin with, so adding more really compliments the soda. It makes the world’s best soda more creamy and smooth. People have been adding vanilla to Coke in ice cream shops and soda parlors for decades, so it was just a matter of time before it would become mass-produced. And in 2002, Vanilla Coke was introduced to the world as a registered trademark of the Coca-Cola Company. It was a big success when it was released, mostly because of the huge advertising and marketing campaign to promote it. But sales dwindled over the next few years and they eventually replaced it with Black Cherry Vanilla Coke in 2006. The allure of Vanilla Coke could not be denied however, and it was brought back in 2007 and rebranded as Coca-Cola Vanilla. I don’t know why they had to change the name. Vanilla Coke is easier to say and sounds more casual and cool. Coca-Cola Vanilla is a bit of a tongue twister and makes you sound pompous and old fashioned. I didn’t order a Vanilla Coke. I ordered a Coca-Cola Vanilla, you imbecile! All in all, Coca-Cola Vanilla is a good twist on an already great soda. I don’t know if I like it better than Cherry Coke/Coca-Cola Cherry/Whatever they call it now, but I’ll grab it from time to time just to mix it up, and I’m never dissatisfied with my purchase.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 16, 2014 · 12:04 pm

Wookey Jack (beer)

Wookey Jack is a craft beer from California’s Firestone Walker Brewing Co. I decided to try it because I’m a nerd and the name reminds me of Star Wars. The label says it’s a Black Rye IPA but Beeradvocate.com says it’s an American Black Ale. They need to make up their minds. It pours a dark brown, almost black, with a thick tan head that lingers for a while. It has an intriguing aroma. I get citrus hops, roasted malt, rye, spice, and maybe a little chocolate. The flavor profile is a good balance between hops and malt, and spicy rye. I also taste bitter chocolate and a hint of smoke. It has an 8.3% alcohol content, so your head will be buzzing pleasantly after a couple of sips. This is a very satisfying beer with lots of flavor and personality. I suggest that you try it. But I won’t take it personally if you don’t.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 14, 2014 · 8:33 am

Salvation (beer)

Salvation is a Belgian Strong Pale Ale from Colorado’s Avery Brewing Company. Colorado’s getting a lot of attention for their legalized marijuana right now, so people forget that it’s also a mecca for microbreweries. Some truly amazing craft beers come from the Centennial State (I thought Colorado had a cooler nickname than that). Anyway, I saw a bottle of Salvation at the liquor store and I had to try it. It pours a golden amber color with a thick white head that dissolves into a thin layer. It has a sweet, fruity aroma with apricot, peach, banana, cloves, nutmeg, citrus, malt, and spice. The various spice and fruit flavors carry over into the flavor of the beer. It’s kind of spicy with a bready malt backbone. You can taste hints of apricot, peach, banana, nutmeg, pepper, clove, and hops. It has an ABV of 9%, but it’s smooth, rich, and very drinkable. I would suggest it as an after dinner beer. Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, but it seems to get better with each sip. And that girl seems to be getting hotter too. Hmmmm. Maybe it is the alcohol talking, but I would get this beer again.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 13, 2014 · 12:31 pm

Lagunitas Imperial Stout

Lagunitas Imperial Stout is a Russian Imperial Stout from Northern California’s Lagunitas Brewing Co. It’s a great craft brew. It pours out a dark brown, almost black, with a thick foamy tan head. The smell is of toasted malts with a little chocolate, caramel, coffee, and maybe some smoke. The flavor is mostly roasted malt with chocolate, caramel, char, smoke, coffee, and bitter hops. It goes down smooth and creamy. You can hardly taste any alcohol, despite the high 9.9% ABV. It’s a very solid, well-rounded stout and any beer aficionado should give it a try. It also gets bonus points for saying that life can be a real “suka” on the label. If you’re going to learn any Russian words, “suka” is a great one to start with. Spoiler alert: it means bitch.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 12, 2014 · 12:28 pm

Tango Orange

Tango is a European soda brand, and Tango Orange is their flagship soda. They have other soda flavors like Apple, Cherry, and Citrus, but Orange is the original flavor. I got a can of it at the store near my house that sells random food items from around the world. They have an abundance of British sodas for some reason. It pours a cloudy yellow orange color with a foamy head that quickly dissipates. It doesn’t have much of a scent, but I would describe it as fizzy water with a little bit of Tang. The taste is like a muted Sunkist. It’s lighter and more refreshing. There’s a little bit of an aftertaste, but you get used to it fairly quickly. I’m not a big fan of orange sodas, but this is probably the best one I’ve had. Too bad orange sodas suck. Sorry Kel.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 8, 2014 · 10:00 am

Chasing Your Straw

You’re at the bar sipping on your Long Island Iced Tea and flirting with the girl next to you. You’re being funny, you’re being smart, and things are going well. Then you try to take a sip of your drink without breaking eye contact, but your straw refuses to cooperate and keeps moving around your glass. You look like a horse with peanut butter on the roof of its mouth. So you’re not too surprised when the girl rolls her eyes at you and goes off to find her friends. At least you still have your drink. Your dignity, not so much. There’s no way to look cool when you’re chasing your straw. Avoid the embarrassment and ditch the straw.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 8, 2014 · 9:59 am

Lagunitas DayTime Ale

DayTime Ale is an IPA from Petaluma, California’s Lagunitas Brewing Co. It’s a fractional IPA, meaning it has a lower alcohol content, but it still looks, smells, and tastes like a regular IPA. It’s only 4.65% alcohol, which is less than Budweiser. It pours a golden yellow color with a thick and foamy white head. It has a citrusy hop aroma with herbs, grass, and pine. It tastes hoppy, but it’s a lighter hop than your standard IPA. I get hints of grass, pine, grapefruit, and a little sweetness. I wouldn’t classify it as bitter. It’s like a slightly watered down IPA. I like it, it’s refreshing, crisp, and a good day drinking beer. It’s also a good introductory craft beer. It won’t overwhelm you, but you still get more flavor than most domestics.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 3, 2014 · 12:09 pm

Lagunitas Sucks

In 2011 the Lagunitas Brewing Company didn’t have the brewing capacity to make Brown Shugga’ Ale, their popular winter seasonal. So in response they created this beer and owned up to their mistake by naming it Lagunitas Sucks. Its full name is Lagunitas Sucks Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale. And while it wasn’t Brown Shugga’, it was still a delicious beer in its own right. It was so good that Lagunitas started making it available year-round. They include a funny apology on the label, which explains how the beer came to be, and it adds to the personality of the beer. It’s an American Double/Imperial IPA. It pours a beautiful golden copper with a foamy white head. It smells of hops, citrus, and pine. It tastes great. It’s hoppy, malty, and creamy. I get hints of grapefruit, mango, orange, pine, brown sugar, and toasted bread. It’s very satisfying and very drinkable. It’s 8% alcohol and you can’t even tell. Lagunitas Sucks doesn’t suck.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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March 2, 2014 · 1:00 pm

Lilt (soda)

Lilt is a Pineapple & Grapefruit soda with totally tropical taste. It’s basically a grapefruit soda, but the pineapple smooths and mellows out the grapefruit. It’s not as citrusy as you would imagine it to be. It’s better than a grapefruit soda, but it’s not a good soda. There’s nothing impressive about it, and there’s no incentive for me to ever drink it again. It’s boring. What else can I say about Lilt? It’s manufactured by the Coca-Cola Company, it has no caffeine, and it’s British so it’s hard to find in the States. And that’s a good thing because we don’t need another subpar soda taking up shelf space at the store.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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February 27, 2014 · 12:22 pm

Rhizing Bines

Dogfish Head is one of the best breweries on the East Coast. Sierra Nevada is one of the best breweries on the West Coast. Somehow the two breweries got together and gave birth to Rhizing Bines, a delicious and smooth IPA. It pours a golden copper with a nice foamy head. It has a great aroma. I smell citrus hops, caramel, florals, and sweetness. It tastes hoppy at first but quickly becomes smooth, creamy, and malty. It’s very well balanced. It’s hoppy and malty, it’s sweet and bitter. It’s a complex beer, but it passes the test. It has an 8% ABV and the alcohol will creep up on you. It’s not the best beer I’ve had, but it’s probably in my top twenty-five.

Critically Rated at 15/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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