Tag Archives: sip

Pinky Out

I know a girl who is classy as fuck. How do I know she’s classy? Easy, every time she takes a sip of something she extends her pinky out. She will hold the glass with all her fingers touching it, but as soon as she tilts the glass to take a sip her pinky goes out. She does it automatically and she does it every single time. Trust me, I’ve seen her drink a lot. It doesn’t matter if she’s drinking wine, beer, tea, or soda. She didn’t even know that she did it until I pointed it out. She had no idea that she was so fancy. It’s a good thing that I called attention to it. It’s good for her self-esteem. Every girl wants to be classy as fuck. Most people just pretend to be classy. She has it built in.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Chasing Your Straw

You’re at the bar sipping on your Long Island Iced Tea and flirting with the girl next to you. You’re being funny, you’re being smart, and things are going well. Then you try to take a sip of your drink without breaking eye contact, but your straw refuses to cooperate and keeps moving around your glass. You look like a horse with peanut butter on the roof of its mouth. So you’re not too surprised when the girl rolls her eyes at you and goes off to find her friends. At least you still have your drink. Your dignity, not so much. There’s no way to look cool when you’re chasing your straw. Avoid the embarrassment and ditch the straw.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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