Quarters

Quarters are the best coin. These are ideal for temporary tattoos, magic tricks, scratching off lotto tickets, parking meters and the list goes on and on. It even has its own drinking game named after it.

It has George Washington on it. GEORGE WASHINGTON, the guy who discovered America in 1776 and stole it from the British. He was a full 25% of the Four Fathers, the first President to win a second election, and he carved his own teeth from a cherry tree he chopped down. This is the American Coin of Choice.

I will give away pennies, nickels, dimes, even crumpled dollar bills to bums on the street, but I keep my quarters. Those are for laundry. We should get rid of all coins except for the quarter, half dollar, and dollar coin.

They would get a perfect score but you can’t buy a pack of gum or make a phone call anymore. I know that it’s because of inflation, so maybe they should make quarters worth 35 cents. Problem solved.

Critically Rated at 16/17.

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