Bottled water is a product that shouldn’t even exist. It’s like canned air or a container of sunlight. But people buy bottled water and they buy it a lot and there is profit to be had. There used to be only a few brands of bottled water, now there are dozens of different brands. Then Vitamin Water came out, and that caused a whole bunch of other companies to come out with their own brands of super water. Thanks to the consumer power of sheep, we now have Rockstar Energy Water. It’s water infused with B vitamins, taurine, and caffeine. There are a few different flavors but I tried the Blueberry Pomegranate Acai. It’s less than 1% juice, with no sugar and no calories. There’s a very slight aftertaste, it’s hardly noticeable but it’s there.
This isn’t water. This is a water-based beverage. I don’t think you can legally call this water anymore. Water is made of hydrogen and oxygen. That’s a pretty short list of ingredients. Rockstar Energy Water has 17 ingredients including magnesium lactate, acesulfame potassium, and pyridoxine hydrochloride. Nothing enhances water like a bunch of random chemicals. There’s no way that this shit is good for you. At least soda doesn’t lie and pretend to be healthy. I think it’s time to put an end to super water.
Critically Rated at 11/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
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