Pomegranates are a delicious and healthy fruit. They look like an orange-reddish bulb. You peel it open to reveal hundreds of small seeds inside. The small seeds are what you eat, you throw away the rest. A major downside to pomegranates is that it’s a bitch to get the seeds out. You have to cut and peel and pop them out. Pomegranates are a mystery fruit. You can’t tell how good the seeds are until you open it up. There’s nothing worse than seeing a bunch of white kernels or brown rotten seeds. On the other hand, a perfect pomegranate is better than… I don’t know. They are fucking really good though.
Critically Rated at 15/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young
Calling yourself a baseball fan without liking sunflower seeds is like calling yourself a Republican without owning a gun. It’s essential to be part of the club. Sunflower seeds are a great snack, and David brand seeds are the best. They make a few flavors like Original, Ranch, and BBQ, but one of their lesser known flavors is Dill Pickle. It’s kind of weird idea to have something that’s pickle flavored and not a pickle, but it works. It’s a subtle pickle flavor, but it’s definitely there. It might take a few minutes to get used to the flavor and I can’t see anyone outside of pregnant chicks actually craving them, but if you eat seeds and want a little variety, they aren’t bad.
Critically Rated at 11/17
I can’t wait for the Major League Baseball season to begin, and so I will write about the game’s official snack. Hot dogs and Cracker Jack are typical stadium junk food, but it you want to act like you’re in the game, you need sunflower seeds. And no brand of seeds is better than David. David sunflower seeds are consistent in size and flavor, with the occasional salt lump thrown in as well. The bag calls eating seeds a “snacktivity.” That’s clever and true, you have to do some work to eat seeds. Amateurs can only eat them one at a time, but if you are a stud like me, you can store a handful in your cheek like a hamster and use your tongue and teeth to de-shell them. If you can eat the kernel and spit out the shell without biting your tongue then you are doing it right. Good for you. I take back all that shit I said about you.
Critically Rated at 14/17