Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza is the frozen microwavable pizza pocket that you grew up with. It’s glob of melted cheese, grease, and meat with a terrible tasting dough holding it all together. The end result is a turnover that tastes somewhat similar to a slice of pizza. The filling will be hot enough to burn the roof of your mouth with one bite and will be ice cold with the next. There is no such thing as a perfectly cooked Hot Pocket. It simply can’t be done. Or so I thought. I was looking at my Hot Pocket wrapper and I noticed that there are instructions for cooking the Hot Pocket in the oven, so I tried baking it instead of nuking it. It takes about 28 minutes to cook in the oven (not including preheating) and that’s a ridiculously long time to wait for a fucking Hot Pocket… but the filling was consistently hot throughout, the crust was nice and crunchy, it was as close to perfection as any Hot Pocket could be. But there’s not point using the oven to cook microwavable food. It defeats the purpose of buying microwavable food.
Critically Rated at 10/17
Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young