Tag Archives: shot glass

Body Shots

A body shot is a shot of liquor that is served on a person as opposed to in a shot glass. Most of the time a drunk (and slightly slutty) female will lay down on the bar top and somebody else slurps tequila off her tits or tummy. Everyone else laughs and takes pictures. Body shots are usually a sign that things are going to get rowdy. Body shots are messy for everyone involved. The human shot glass will be sticky with liquor and spit. The person taking the shot always dribbles down their chin and they occasionally suck up a loose hair or foreign object. And the bartender gets to clean up all the drinks that get knocked over when the human shot glass jumps up on the bar. Body shots should be reserved for special occasions like a 21st birthday or Cinco de Mayo. They should be somewhat random and special, not a routine event.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks

Souvenirs

Souvenirs are the little knickknacks you get for friends and family members when you go on vacation. It’s a way of bragging about where you’ve been and pretending you were thinking about them when you were drinking margaritas under the sun. Most of the time souvenirs are display items that you’ll never use like magnets, key chains, shot glasses, and decorative spoons. Sometimes you get a postcard. That’s good for 30 seconds of reading one or two times before you stick it in a drawer and forget about it. Sometimes you get a shirt that you’ll never wear, because every time someone sees South Dakota on your shirt and asks about South Dakota you’ll have to explain that it was just a souvenir and you’ve never been to South Dakota, and nobody wants to talk about South Dakota more than they have to, so it’s just better to let the South Dakota shirt hang in the closet.

            If I were in charge of souvenir stands, I would make practical items. Power drills, toothbrushes, and clothes hampers for a start. Things that people need, stamped with a place they’ve only read about. If I can’t go to New Zealand, at least I can clean my gutters with my Auckland pressure hose.

Critically Rated at 9/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants