Tag Archives: helmet

Hat

A hat is clothing for your head. There are a lot of different types of hats. There are baseball caps, there are fedoras, there are berets, there are visors, there are helmets, there are beanies… you get the gist. Lots of hats, lots of styles, lots of names. Hats can be functional. Some shade your eyes. Some keep your head warm. Some hold beer cans with straws so you can drink without having to use your hands. I’m not a hat person. I have a few hats but I rarely wear them. I can’t pull them off. I look weird with a hat on. Some people know how to rock them. They look better with a hat. Sometimes their hat becomes their trademark and defines them, like the lead singer of Jamiroquai or Indiana Jones. They would look weird without a hat. Try to imagine Robin Hood without a hat. You can’t. A Robin Hood without a Robin Hood hat isn’t a Robin Hood at all.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Banging Your Head

You’re brushing your teeth and you left medicine cabinet door open so you remember to floss when you accidently drop the cap to the toothpaste. You bend down to grab it, you do, you stand back up, and you smack your skull right on the cabinet door. You see a flash of light, an explosion of stars, you feel lightheaded, and your eyes start to water. BAM! OW! OUCH! Banging your head is not fun. There are lots of ways to bang your head, and there are lots of things to bang your head against. All of them suck. And if you’ve ever experienced a concussion you seriously consider wearing a helmet in everyday life. Maybe that’s not such a bad idea. I know more than a few people who could benefit from a safety helmet.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Riding a Bike with Your Helmet on the Handlebars

People who ride bicycles in major cities have to be fearless. Stop signs are optional and coming to a complete stop is a sign of weakness. It’s a good idea to wear a helmet if you are going to risk your life that that, and so a lot of people protect their noggin. Some people decide to live on the wild side and don’t wear helmets. And some idiots buy helmets and just sling them on their handlebars. You are an idiot for riding a bike with your helmet of the handlebars. You have a helmet, you have it with you, you are on your bike… you should fucking put it on. It’s common sense. I hope your helmet strap gets caught in your front wheel and you die. If you have a helmet, fucking use it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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