Tag Archives: stop signs

An Efficient Cab Driver

I live in the Sunset District of San Francisco and that means that cab drivers hate me. I live too far away and it’s not profitable for them to take me all the way out there. But they have to take me because it’s the law and I don’t take any bullshit. That’s when you seen an angry and bitter cabbie show off his driving skills. He switches lanes and maneuvers around cars with graceful ease. He screeches to a halt at stop signs at the last possible moment, and guns the engine after the briefest of moments. He starts mumbling and groaning and tapping his hands on the steering wheel when he gets stuck at a red light and then he floors it a half second before the light changes to green. An efficient cab driver is like a machine; he’s all about getting the job down as quickly and with as much precision as possible. Every second matters and he wastes absolutely no time in getting you from Point A to Point B as fast as he can. Don’t confuse an efficient cab driver with a rude driver; he’s just trying to get another fare as soon as he’s able to. It’s all about the turn and burn.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Riding a Bike with Your Helmet on the Handlebars

People who ride bicycles in major cities have to be fearless. Stop signs are optional and coming to a complete stop is a sign of weakness. It’s a good idea to wear a helmet if you are going to risk your life that that, and so a lot of people protect their noggin. Some people decide to live on the wild side and don’t wear helmets. And some idiots buy helmets and just sling them on their handlebars. You are an idiot for riding a bike with your helmet of the handlebars. You have a helmet, you have it with you, you are on your bike… you should fucking put it on. It’s common sense. I hope your helmet strap gets caught in your front wheel and you die. If you have a helmet, fucking use it.

Critically Rated at 3/17

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