Tag Archives: going away party

Going Away Parties

I work in a restaurant in a tourist trap in a major US city and we hire a lot of temporary workers during peak seasons. If you’ve ever worked in a restaurant, then you know that your coworkers are your family. And right now it’s the end of summer, so a lot of those seasonal workers have to go back to their real lives and I’ll never see them again. And it sucks to lose your family. So we compensate by having drinks in honor of their departures. Going Away Parties are always bittersweet. You meet an amazing person, you spend time with them, you get to know them, you can call them a friend, and then reality catches up with you and they have to leave and go back home. And for some reason you throw a party to celebrate them going away. It seems kind of fucked up, but it’s customary to feign happiness during sad times. Hence the fiestas. It’s never easy to say goodbye but alcohol makes it easier. And those fucked up Facebook photos ensure that you’ll never forget the people that abandoned you. Going Away Parties provide a sense of closure. It’s the end of an era, but everyone pretends that there will be a next time.

Critically Rated at 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment

Ordering a Pizza While Drunk

I went to a going-away party the other night and proceeded to get shitfaced with about fifty friends. We were doing shots, drinking cocktails, chugging down beers, and drunk people are known to get hungry. We decided to order a couple of pizzas and that turned into a process. First we had to decide on a place. Then we had to figure out how many people are eating so we would know how many pies to get. Then we had to figure out what toppings you want, and that part took forever because some people are vegetarians and some people are opposed to pineapple and some people can’t eat cheese. It turned into a debate over whether or not to get a meat combo or a veggie combo or a plain cheese pizza, and everyone was drunk so they all have an opinion, and everyone’s opinion was loud. We finally decided on the three pizzas that we would get, and then another argument started over who would call and place the order. Everyone had a lame reason or an excuse over why they couldn’t be the one to call. Eventually I gave in and I called. I didn’t even bother leaving the room full of rowdy drunks, so I had to yell so that the lady could hear me and kept having to ask the lady to repeat herself. After five minutes I finally got the order in, but then we had to collect the money, and that was the biggest hassle of all. Some people had cash, but only big bills that had to be broken. Some people only had cards. Some people had to borrow money from other people. Everyone wanted pizza and that meant some people weren’t going to eat any. Ordering a pizza while drunk is a chore, but eating a pizza while drunk makes it all worthwhile.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Drinks, Snacks