Tag Archives: fake mustaches

Pink Mustaches on Cars

The world hates Americans for a lot of reasons. It used to be for oil consumption and war mongering. Now it’s primarily pink mustaches on cars. Why is this even a trend? Fake mustaches on girls are bad enough, but cars aren’t people. Cars are fucking cars. The only thing they should be wearing is a cool paint color and a coat of wax. Cars are expensive. You have monthly payments to the dealer, you have to pay for insurance, you have to get gas, there’s parking passes and permits and tickets to deal with… and you spend your hard-earned money on fake pink facial hair for its grill? You are a fucking douchebag. Your car looks stupid and you look like an asshole.

Who wants a mustache ride? Not me.

Critically Rated at 1/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

1 Comment

Filed under Random Rants

The Fake Mustache Trend

I’ve been experiencing the Outside Lands festival the last few days, and I’ve noticed a disturbing new trend. A lot of girls were rocking fake mustaches. I don’t know why. Maybe they think it’s fun and charming. Maybe they want to deter guys from talking to them. Either way it looks stupid. Most guys can’t even pull off real mustaches, what makes you think you can? I don’t understand the fake mustache trend. Fake sideburns are way cooler, and nothing tops a faux Lincoln beard.

Critically Rated at 5/17

1 Comment

Filed under Random Rants