It’s December 31, 2014. It’s the last day of the year. It’s the best time to reflect on 2014 and remember what made it worth remembering. Here are the Critically Rated Most Memorable Moments of 2014. I was going to do seventeen, but it’s late and I’m lazy so you only get eleven moments.
11. Jodi Arias was a kind of hot chick who was kind of crazy who kind of killed her boyfriend. There always has to be a crazy murder case that captures the attention of the press and the public. 2014 was the time for Jodi Arias to shine.
10. Joan Rivers died during plastic surgery. Of course she did. Remember how Paul Walker died in a car crash in 2013? Life imitating art imitating life.
9. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers released Hypnotic Eye, their 13th studio album and they also went on tour. I saw them. They still rock. If you’re not jealous, you should be.
8. The Sony movie attack was pretty recent, pretty famous, and pretty stupid. We found out that Sony got hacked by North Korea because they were pissed off about a Seth Rogan/James Franco comedy called The Interview. Only stoners would have gone to see the movie. Instead it became the focal point of a multinational cyber war. Now it’s a footnote in history and a future Jeopardy question.
7. The Celebrity Nude Photo Leak was a triumphant moment for perverts around the internet. And there are a lot of perverts on the internet so it was a triumphant moment. Finally we have access to undoctored nudes of Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence. It sucks that they were violated and all, but c’mon, you know you Googled it too.
6.Ebola. It’s devastating in Africa, but it’s a farce everywhere else. The media likes to blow things out of proportion. They like to sensationalize. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and try not to panic while watching the evening news.
5. The San Francisco Giants won their third World Series in five years. Fuck all the haters, that makes them a dynasty. Madison Bumgarner had a postseason for the ages, and it seemed like every Giants player had a tremendous moment during the postseason stretch. Winning a championship is never easy, but it seems likes the Giants have it all figured out (at least in even-numbered years).
4. What’s with all the planes falling out of the sky? In March, Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 went missing. It literally dropped off the radar. In July, another Malaysian Airlines flight was shot down over eastern Ukraine. In December, Air Asia Flight QZ6501 also went down over the ocean. Bro, it’s 2014. What the fuck, it’s more terrifying to fly now than it was in 2001.
3. Michael Brown was shot and killed by the police on August 9. Just another young black man killed by the cops, or so they thought. His death has sparked demonstrations, protests, and riots across the country. It’s a blatant reminder that racism and police brutality are still a reality in today’s society. Every couple of years tensions rise to the tipping point. It tipped over this year. It shattered on the ground. It’s obvious that things need to change. Let’s see hope they do.
2. Derek Jeter played his final season and retired. It really doesn’t deserve to be so high on the list, but it seems fitting to give him the number 2 slot. He represents the better part of baseball, despite being a Yankee. I went out to his last game against the Oakland A’s to pay my respects to one of the greatest players of all time. I’m glad I got to tip my cap.
1. Robin Williams passing away was the most memorable moment of 2014. Tons of celebrities pass away each year, but Robin Williams was different because he was so special. He was beyond gifted. He was on his own level. He made the world laugh and cry. He didn’t die of old age. He committed suicide. It wasn’t expected so it was all the more shocking. His reasons are his own, but it’s because he brought so much joy to the world while struggling with his depression that he will always be remembered. He was a part of us all and now we have to talk about him in the past tense. It’s not fair.
I wish you all the best for 2015. I thank each and everyone one of you that’s ever bothered to read what I have to say. I can’t wait to Critically Rate what 2015 has to offer.
~Brendan H. Young
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