Tag Archives: clock

Time Discrepancy

A few weeks ago I noticed that the time displayed on my laptop is different from the time on my phone. There was a two-minute difference. I tried to ignore it for a while, but the time discrepancy kept growing. Now there’s a four-minute difference. I don’t know why. Maybe it has something to do with black holes, vortexes, or aliens, but there’s definitely something spooky happening. I know it’s my laptop that’s wrong because my phone and tablet show the same time. It’s kind of weird because laptop, phone, and tablet are all Apple products and they are all on the same Wi-Fi network. My laptop thinks that it’s in the future. It could be. It’s hard to tell. A four-minute window into the future isn’t much to go on. And even if it was in the future, a four-minute window isn’t much help. I need at least ten minutes if I’m going to save the world. I’ve thought about this too much.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Your Birthday Time

Other than 4:20, my favorite part of the day is my birthday time. That’s the magical part of the day when the clock displays your birthday. My birthday is April 29 or 4/29, so my birthday time is 4:29. Your birthday time doesn’t mean anything, but it’s nice to see it. We’re all selfish bastards who secretly want to be the center of the universe so we expect some sort of acknowledgement when the clock shows our birthday time.

It sucks for Europeans because they use the 24-hour clock and also put the day before the month. For example, my European birthday would be 29/4 and there is no 29 o’clock. That’s probably another reason why the world hates Americans so much: because we can celebrate our birthday twice a day instead of only once a year. Let me know the next time your birthday time makes an appearance and we’ll give you a toast.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Daylight Saving Time

First things first: it’s daylight saving, not daylight savings. You are saving daylight. People like to stick an “S” on the end of words unnecessarily for some reason. Maybe it makes them feel important. The trick to remembering whether or not to turn the clock forward or backward is easy to remember: Spring forward, Fall back. It works most places except the southern hemisphere. Most clocks change automatically in this futuristic world that we call home, but there’s always some idiot who is oblivious to the time change.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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