Tag Archives: the toilet seat

Lifting Up the Toilet Seat with the Your Shoe

You’re out on the town when you get the urge to pee. You find a public bathroom to use but all the urinals are taken so you find an open stall. The seat is down and you want to put it up because you don’t want to pee on the seat, but you don’t want to touch the seat. You could use a piece of toilet paper to lift it, but you don’t want to waste paper. That’s when you resort to lifting up the toilet seat with your shoe. It’s a balancing act. It takes some skill. You want to make the minimal amount of contact with the seat as possible, and you want to get the job done as fast as possible because, shit, you really have to pee. Lifting up the toilet seat with your shoe brings you one step closer to sweet relief. Once you’ve finished going you can prove your dexterity by flushing the toilet with your shoe too.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Leaving the Toilet Seat Up

Girls are always complaining about guys leaving the toilet seat up. Leaving the toilet seat up is a tradition that’s not going anywhere. It’s not like we are doing it out of spite (well, sometimes we do), it just stays up because we piss a lot and we are lazy. You’re lucky if we even remember to flush. I sometimes feel sorry for the girls that end up falling into the toilet, but they should have paid attention. Guys need to sit down when they shit, but we don’t fall in because we check the status of the seat before we sit down. It’s common sense. Look before you leap and look before you squat. Girls complain that leaving the seat up is inconsiderate. They never stopped to consider that leaving the seat down is inconsiderate to guys. I’m not sorry about leaving the toilet seat up. I leave the seat up, and I leave it up proudly. It’s also proof that I didn’t pee on the seat in the bathroom at work.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants