Tag Archives: swimming

Swimming

I grew up in California suburbs and I was lucky enough to have a pool. That meant I got swimming lessons when I was five. They teach you the basics like the back float, doggy paddle, and treading water. Then you eventually advance to the freestyle stroke, breaststroke, backstroke, and butterfly stroke. Everybody should learn how to swim. Swimming is the art of moving through water without drowning. It could save your life if you’re ever caught in a flash flood, if your boat capsizes, or if your plane crash-lands in the Hudson River. There are lots of reasons why you should learn how to swim. You can swim for fun, survival, or exercise. And it’s an essential part of skinny dipping.

Critically Rated 13/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Using a Toilet Seat Cover after Swimming

I made a mistake the other day. I was swimming at a hotel pool when the McDonald’s I had for lunch came back to haunt me. I had to take a shit and I had to take one immediately. I jumped out of the pool and made my way to the bathroom, and luckily the stall was unoccupied. I went inside and locked the door, put a toilet seat cover down for protection, dropped my swim trunks and proceeded to empty my bowels. I realized that I had a problem a few minutes into my poop: I was soaking wet and the piece of paper I was sitting on was now adhered to my backside. After I finished taking the Browns to the Super Bowl and wiping, I had to slowly peel the toilet seat cover off my skin, but it wasn’t easy. I had to scrub it and rub it to get it off, and I had to do it quietly to avoid attracting attention from the other people in the bathroom. That’s not something that you want to explain to strangers. Being hygienic is cool and all, but using a toilet seat cover after swimming is not something I would recommend.

Critically Rated at 6/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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