Tag Archives: snot

Snot Rocket

Snot Rockets are the answer to many of life’s questions. Need to blow your nose but don’t have any Kleenex handy? Snot rocket. Need to impress a girl but don’t know how? Snot rocket. A snot rocket is a glob of mucus that you launch from your nose. It’s a liquid booger projectile that can be used as a biological weapon. Aim at your enemies and fire. Hopefully they’ll be too disgusted to sock you in the face. There are many YouTube instructional videos if you want to learn how to harness your phlegm and become good at it. Someday you could be like Madison Bumgarner, a snot rocketeer and two-time World Series Champion.

Critically Rated at 11/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Sneeze

Sometimes you have snot or dust in your nose and you feel a tickle. That tickle starts to grow and it becomes a sneeze. Your lungs deliver a blast of air that sends the snot and dust flying out of your nose and mouth. I’m sure you’ve all seen cartoons where they sniff pepper and it makes them sneeze. That doesn’t really happen. If you sniff pepper you just get a burning sensation like you inhaled Mace. Everyone has a unique sneeze, they are like fingerprints. Some people sneeze once and they’re done. Some people sneeze so many times that you’d think it was their hobby. There are silent sneezers, loud sneezers, spray sneezers, dry sneezers, and sneezers that sound like cats. The worst type of sneeze are the random phlegmers. Those are the powerful ones that come without warning and result in a handful of snot. Just throw it at the first asshole that makes a wisecrack and everybody will be too busy laughing to be disgusted.

Critically Rated at 8/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants

Blowing Your Nose and Looking at It

You’re feeling a little sick and slightly stuffy. Your nose might be running too. You grab a Kleenex and blow your nose. And you look at it. You don’t really care what it looks like, but you always take a quick glance. It’s instinct, it’s habitual. It’s your snot. You know what it looks like. But you can’t help it…  blowing your nose and looking at it, everyone does it, and no one knows why.

Critically Rated at 10/17

Leave a comment

Filed under Random Rants