Tag Archives: popcorn

Eating Popcorn With Your Tongue

 As a kid I had the habit of grabbing a handful of popcorn and using my tongue to snag each morsel like I was a giant lizard. It was the best way to eat popcorn. My hands formed a big bowl and I could eat individual kernels instead of simply stuffing my face. It was a practical solution to a popcorn problem that only a child could have come up with. I applaud everyone else who also discovered lizard licking their popcorn. Eating popcorn with your tongue is easy. Get a handful of popcorn and shoot your tongue out at the popcorn. Your tongue will hit a kernel and stick to it slightly. As soon as your tongue makes contact, retract your tongue. The kernel should end up in your mouth if you did everything correctly. Eat the kernel and repeat the process. Don’t drool. That won’t impress anyone.

 Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young 

  

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Jiffy Pop

Jiffy Pop is a brand of popcorn. It’s not microwavable and it’s not pre-popped. It comes in an aluminum pan with a foil cover that you can heat up over an oven or open flame. It’s the best tasting popcorn in the world if you manage not to burn it. That’s because it takes considerate skill not to burn it. You’ve truly earned it if you make Jiffy Pop right. That makes it taste better. Jiffy Pop used to be common in the household. Now you mostly see it while camping or at bonfires if you see it at all. There’s no need to manually cook popcorn if you have a microwave handy. Jiffy Pop had its glory days. It’s time we all moved on, but there’s nothing wrong with a little nostalgia from time to time.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Cracker Jack

Cracker Jack is a delicious blend of caramel coated popcorn and peanuts with a prize. You can’t forget about the prize. There used to be a cool prize like a magic ring or a whistle, but these days it’s usually a temporary tattoo or a paper cutout of some bullshit. Popcorn and peanuts are awesome by themselves, so when they combine their forces and also get caramelized it’s a delight for your taste buds. You don’t eat Cracker Jack every day. In fact, you forget about it for months at a time. But then baseball season comes back and you stars singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” and you get the sudden urge to buy them. That song is product placement at its best.

Critically Rated at 12/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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