Losing a quarter is not a big deal. It happens all the time. It will fall out of your pocket, you might accidently drop it on the ground, sometimes you give them away to bums without realizing it. But losing a quarter to a machine is enough to ruin your day. Sometimes you’ll go down to the Laundromat and choose a faulty washer that eats your coins. Then you have to beg for change from the other patrons. Sometimes the parking meter refuses to acknowledge the quarter you just fed it. Sometimes the vending machine will malfunction and refuse to give you a snack. Losing a quarter to a machine means that Skynet is winning, and the future is going to be a bleak one. You are funding Judgment Day each time you lose a quarter to a machine. It starts by stealing quarters and it ends with the mass genocide of mankind. Tread lightly.
So there’s all this talk about asteroids, meteors, comets, and various space rocks coming to kill us all. There was that close call with asteroid 2012 DA14 and that Russian meteorite in the last few days. The asteroid wouldn’t have destroyed the Earth, but it would have fucked shit up. The Russian meteorite was a wake-up call because it was unexpected and unpredicted. It’s a reminder that nature wants to kill us all. NASA and other agencies are trying to create a Meteor Warning System, which would become operable in 2015. That’s fucking bullshit. Even if there was a Meteor Warning System, it wouldn’t be effective. We still have no surefire way of stopping anything. Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck can’t save us. Elijah Wood is toast. We are all fucked if there’s something heading towards Earth right now (and there is, it’s just a matter of time before it hits us).
The truth is that even if someone detected an asteroid or whatever heading straight for Earth, they would never release that information. If everyone knew the exact moment of judgment day, they would use go crazy. The entire world would panic. We are talking riots, rapes, fights, fires, coups and chaos. Total anarchy. And you wasted your moment if you didn’t go nuts. Everyone would freak out and they know it. They wouldn’t tell anyone. They would let us all die without a clue. And that’s a good thing. Ignorance is bliss and I want to die happy.
So today is the end of the world and I’m feeling pretty ok with it. I had a good run. It’s the Mayan Apocalypse, Judgment Day, Doomsday… and any second now the world is going to fall apart so I hope you’re reading this quickly. I think that we are all pretty lucky to get to experience another apocalypse. We survived 9/9/99 Y2K, 6/6/06, and several family Thanksgivings. Those were just practice apocalypses. This is the real one. I know it is. I didn’t even bother putting on pants today. If I’m going out, I’m going out comfortable.
Terminator 2 is a perfect sequel. It takes everything cool about the first one and ups the ante and becomes a better movie than its predecessor. Not only is it a perfect sequel, but also it’s one of the best action movies of all time. James Cameron doesn’t just make movies, he makes blockbusters. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays another T-800 Terminator sent back in time, Linda Hamilton reprises her role as Sarah Connor, and Edward Furlong plays a 10-year-old John Connor.
The move takes place eleven years after the first one. Sarah Connor is in a nuthouse, because that’s where you go when you tell everyone about killer robots from the future. Her son John is the future leader of mankind and our only hope of survival against the killer robots, but for now he’s stuck living with foster parents. It kind of sucks when your mom’s insane and your dad hasn’t been born yet, and so John acts out and is a preteen rebel.
Skynet sends back a T-1000 model robot (Robert Patrick) to track down and kill John Connor. The future John Connor sends back an older model T-800 (Schwarzenegger) to protect kid John Connor. The T-800 is the same model as the killbot in the first movie and the T-1000 is liquid metal and can shapeshift and make stabbing weapons. When this movie came out, it was a big twist that Arnie was a good robot and that the other guy was a bad robot.
The T-800 rescues John from the T-1000. John realizes that his mom isn’t crazy and he and his new robot bodyguard go to free her from the nuthouse. Sarah Connor is in the middle of her own escape, and they have a happy little reunion. Sarah gets over her trust issues with the T-800 pretty quickly and they go on a road trip to Mexico.
Arnie tells Sarah and John all about Skynet and the end of the world. Sarah thinks the only way to avoid Judgment Day is to murder Miles Dyson (Joe Morton), the engineer most directly responsible for creating Skynet. She tries to kill him but can’t. When he learns about Judgment Day he decides to join the team and help Sarah prevent the end of the world. He takes the Connors and the T-800 to Cyberdyne to destroy everything related to Skynet, included the microchip and robot arm from the first movie.
The T-1000 shows up and there’s and epic battle. And the two robots fight and punch each other and you understand what it going on, unlike Transformers. Spoiler alert: they beat the T-1000. The T-800 learns human emotion and sacrifices himself to avoid Judgment Day.
Having a 10-year-old John Connor as one of the main characters could have been disastrous without the right casting. Kids are annoying and stupid and don’t belong in action blockbusters. Edward Furlong pulls it off though. He has a cocky street kid attitude that suits the role perfectly. Compare his performance to Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace. When you leave the theater you want to punch Anakin in the face and you want John Connor to save you when the robots come.
This is a great action movie. Every scene leads into the next one, they all are relevant and they all advance the plot. There’s a great flow and pacing and the action scenes are awesome. This was made in the glorious time where when you see a helicopter chasing a truck, you know that it’s a real fucking helicopter chasing a real fucking truck. The CG effects were cutting edge at the time, and even though they look cheesy now, the story makes up for it. It was a great action flick when it came out, and it still is over 20 years later.