Tag Archives: pigeon

Pigeon Feet

Pigeons are disgusting city creatures. They are the sewer rats of the avian world. They live in the dirtiest parts of downtown and feast on the remnants of our garbage. And they have fucked up feet. Pigeon feet are a treasure trove of gnarled toes and mangled stumps. I don’t know if fucked up pigeon feet are genetic or simply a result of life on the street, but I see a lot of pigeons with fucked up feet. There are a lot of other city birds that eat our trash. Seagulls, crows, ravens all rely on dirty humans for survival. They don’t have fucked up feet. It seems like strictly a pigeon thing. The next time you see a pigeon, look at its feet. Be prepared to lose your appetite.

Critically Rated at 5/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Pigeon Sounds

There is a family of pigeons that have taken up residency outside my window. The past few mornings I been woken up to pigeon sounds. Pigeons make little cooing noises. It’s not that annoying at first, but it gets more annoying the more you hear it. It’s sporadic too. You can’t predict it. They will be cooing and ruffling their feathers for a minute or two, then they will stop, I’ll start to fall asleep again, then they start cooing some more. There’s no way to tell when they will start cooing or for how long. There’s no way to stop them either. All I can do is shut my window, turn on some music, and try to drown them out. It doesn’t work. I can still hear them out there, cooing and it’s starting to drive me crazy. I might just snap, bust out my slingshot, and put roasted pigeon on the menu of my next dinner party. Fucking pigeons. I’ll find a way to stop nature one day.

Critically Rated at 7/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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