Tag Archives: feast

A Good Idea for a Restaurant 

I have a good idea for a restaurant. You remember that dinner scene with the Lost Boys in Hook? The one where Robin Williams as Peter Pan regains his imagination and an amazing feast appears before them, you remember that? My restaurant will recreate that wonder. 

You start by approaching a large communal table. You’ll sit right next to strangers. It’s real friendly like. The servers will bring out a bunch of empty plates and dishes and put them on the table. There’s about five minutes of pretending to eat, then suddenly the empty plates and dishes are replaced with real food.

Of course the food is all inspired by the food that appears in the movie. All the different types of meat and fruit, the hunk of cheese with Thud’s face in it, the crazy colered pie things, cups of hot cocoa with heaping servings of whipped cream, it’s all there. Everyone eats their fill. The feast ends with a food fight. It’s a little wasteful but it’s worth it.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Entertainment, Random Rants, Snacks

Food Coma

Thanksgiving is almost amongst us, and that means that there will be an epidemic of food comas across the world. A food coma is where you eat so much food that you become physically incapable of movement. Americans suffer from food comas the most. That’s because we have an abundant source of food and are attracted to gluttony. The only cure for a food coma is to rub your belly and complain about having a food coma. Then you digest a little and eat some pumpkin pie. You might wash it down with some coffee. You might even Irish up your coffee if you don’t have to drive. I hope all my readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving and a food coma for the ages. Thanks for checking out CriticallyRated.com.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

foodcoma

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Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving (or Turkey Day as it’s known on Facebook) is a day for Americans to sit around a table with family and friends and get even fatter. Americans already have more food each day than half the world, but Thanksgiving really lets us show off our gluttony. The average Thanksgiving feast is pretty extravagant: turkey, ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, stuffing, green bean casserole, rolls, some sort of salad, cranberries, pumpkin pie, wine for the adults, sparkling cider for the kids, and leftovers for days. There are starving kids in China and we complain about being in a food coma.

Pretending to be thankful is the way that we justify eating a week’s worth of food during one meal. You hold hands and give thanks for the food, for another year together, for a roof over your head, for a new Star Wars trilogy. You’re not really grateful. You take that shit for granted. But that’s ok. We’re Americans. We are supposed to be assholes. That’s why the world hates us. It doesn’t matter though, the turkey tastes delicious.

Thanksgiving is one of the last real holidays. The candy companies and greeting card companies haven’t found a way to exploit it yet. I’m actually thankful for that. Despite my cynicism, Thanksgiving is usually one of my favorite Thursdays of the year.

Critically Rated at 14/17

Written, Rated, and Reviewed by Brendan H. Young

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Filed under Random Rants